How to Channel Your Feelings in a Positive Direction
- 1). Stop when you feel a strong negative emotion coming on. Hold your breath for five seconds, then let it out. Take five deep breaths. Remove yourself temporarily from the situation, if necessary. If you are still angry, frustrated, stressed, etc. you must analyze what this emotion is conveying, what the problem really is. Is the problem based on the present moment? Or perhaps it is pent up anger from an earlier frustration, or simply an overreaction.
- 2). Decide how to direct that negative emotion into a positive form of action. If you believe your anger is just, such as a server at a restaurant being deliberately rude to you, you may want to ask for the manager and complain. Lashing out at the server will only make him or her defensive and further propel their bad mood onto their next customer. If you are unhappy with a new law passed in your state, write a letter to the congressman or start a petition to have the law repealed.
- 3). Ask yourself why you are holding onto this negative emotion. Were you insulted or cheated? Do you feel powerless or intimated? Analyzing the source of your negative emotions can give values insights to your beliefs, values and needs and find positive channels for your emotions.
- 4). Complete the following sentence: "I am angry/insulted/frustrated/stressed because I lost...this loss is important to me because..." If you find the loss, such as a slight blow to your ego, is not important to your core beliefs or values you can release the anger and know in the future that this offense is not important. If you find the loss to be very important, return to Step 2 and look for a constructive outlet for your anger.
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