Breakups are not unusual and have different affects on people.
Most of us have been through them.
But the one thing they have in common with everyone, is they are never easy to deal with.
Another thing a lot of breakups have in common is the desire for one, or both individuals to get back together.
No matter how bad the relationship might have been, the desire for reconciliation is there.
Now I do not advocate going back to a bad relationship, especially an abusive one.
No matter how desperate you might feel right now, if you were in an abusive relationship and are now out, stay out.
You might still love them, but unless they are willing to get serious help, and prove they have changed long before you consider getting back to together, than be happy that you have a another opportunity to find new love.
But for the most part, you can see a distinct pattern in the course of a relationship.
Let's face it, when you first start dating someone new, the whole world is wonderful and they are the greatest person in it, right? But we know this doesn't last.
I am sure when you first started dating someone new they did certain things that you probably thought was cute.
Further down the road when you have been with each other for awhile, those cute things don't seem so cute anymore, and sometimes they are things that irritate you the most.
This is common in all relationships, you get to know each other a littler better, and start to get comfortable with each other.
This is when you don't mind telling your partner things you wouldn't have said in the beginning, and this can cause arguments.
This is also when the true relationship begins or ends.
A good relationship will work through these things, and you both become closer, and stronger for it.
But sometimes someone just decides it's not worth it, and ends it.
If that's the situation you find yourself in, but still want to repair your relationship, and win your ex back, then we have four steps you can follow to help you accomplish that task.
First - Apologize Apologizing is a key method to getting your ex back, and is very powerful when done right.
Make sure you are apologizing for the right reasons.
Don't go in and just saying how sorry you are for everything.
Make sure you know exactly the key issues that they are mad about, and address those only.
After all it takes two to make it work, so not everything is your fault.
When you are saying you are sorry make sure it doesn't lead to another argument.
You would be surprised at how many times the person getting the apology will start to bring up other issues.
If this happens just keep your cool and don't be trapped into a new fight.
Second - Schedule a time for calm discussion Ask to have a face-to-face sit down to discuss what went wrong.
Make them understand that you don't want an argument, and you are not doing this to point fingers.
You simply want to discuss the issues at hand, and find out if there is a way to work things out.
Now if they are adamantly against this, then just move on to the next step.
If they do agree to this, make sure you keep all your emotions in check.
Now is not the time to let your ego or anger get in the way.
If you are up for it, and they agree, going to counseling, or getting some sort of professional help at this stage can be critical to the success of the meeting.
Third - Give them room to breath This might be difficult for you especially since you're the one who wants to win them back.
But you have to leave them alone for a while.
This means no phone calls, emails, or communication of any kind.
I know you are trying to patch things up, but it is entirely possible that they do not want to talk to you.
They are also trying to work out some emotions, not communicating with them works in two ways.
First it allows them to deal with these emotions, and second, it gives them time to start missing you.
If you are constantly there, they are going to feel suffocated by you.
Remember, they broke it off, so give them some alone time, believe me, this can work to your advantage.
Fourth - Show your independence.
Let them know you are not at home waiting by the phone for their call.
Go out and have a good time.
This will help keep you from dwelling on your situation.
You don't want to appear needy to your ex as if you can't do anything without them.
Showing your independence, and confidence in yourself, will have your ex wondering if they should have left, it could have them re-thinking the whole breakup.
If they think you are strong enough to move on, it could cause them to be attracted to you even more.
Who knows, maybe you could turn the tables and get them chasing you.