Human beings are one of the most ritualistic animals in the animal kingdom, did you know that? We have a LOT of rituals that take place every day during the whole day.
But I'm not talking about rituals in a "religious" kind of way, I'm talking about behavioral patterns.
From the way we brush our teeth (which is THE SAME every day, pay attention), to the way we tie our shoes, the way we communicate, even the way we make love to our women.
It's very important to be aware of these patterns because they are a huge part of the way we deal with things in our lives and the way we deal with other people.
We feel comfortable with patterns, that's the reason we like them so much, we feel secure in knowing things are the same and there isn't going to be a drastic change anytime soon.
Most human beings are not accustomed to change, it's hard for us to adapt once our "structural patterns" have been compromised, so we do our best to guard them as much as we can.
Relationships consists of two people, each with their own set of rituals, so as you might have guessed, relationships are FULL of rituals and patterns also.
To some extend it's OK since it brings some secureness to the relationship, BUT it's a double edge sword because it can also be very dangerous.
Our patterns and rituals are not boring to US, but to someone else they can be REALLY damn boring, so a relationship can become a bit dull to your partner if your rituals are dominant in the relationship.
I always say to my students that a relationship MUST have it's OWN rituals.
For example, you love to watch a football game each Monday night while eating nacho cheese Doritos and Diet Dr.
Pepper.
You're set on watching the game with THAT particular menu, and it's ok.
While your girl loves to watch a soap opera at the same time while eating a bowl of chocolate chip ice cream with oreo topping.
Fine, each of you have your rituals set every Monday night, but it'd be great if each of you would then get together after the game/soap opera are over and go watch a movie or spend some time together.
Making this the relationship ritual.
That way she won't feel like she can't spend time with you because of the "damn football", and you won't feel like she's always pressuring you and "bitching about the game".
Each of your rituals won't get on each other's way.
Lastly, here's a list of 8 critical rituals that are automated inside of you but could be making her insane: - Living the tooth paste tube open.
- Wet towel in the bed or laying on the floor.
- Getting distracted with the computer/cel phone/etc while talking to her - Eating with your mouth open or talking while eating.
- Not matching your clothes properly.
- Having the SAME DAY of the week to go out with your friends (You can go out every week, but don't be so ritualistic about it being in the same day of the week).
- Spending dead hours without calling her or communicating with her.
- When you get home from work, leaving the shoes and the dirty clothes on the floor.
There are more, but from spending hundreds of hours talking to men and couples these are some of the most common and critical.
What to do: What I want you to do next, is to pay attention to your rituals, notice what are those things that you do EVERYDAY in the SAME WAY and how could those rituals be bugging your girl and how you can reach an understanding with her.
Think about it.
Talk to you soon, Joseph.