Ask What Went Wrong
Oh Love!!! How many times have we fallen head over heels in love, and believed the new object of our affection could do no wrong.
Then, out of nowhere at around the 90-day mark, your new love begins to go stale.
You may continue to hold on hoping things will improve, but in most cases they just go down hill.
I guess a soul mate is referred to as the "the one" and not "the myriad" because most of our encounters with love interests are destined to die.
The early period of a relationship is a starry-eyed time filled with bliss and many times we can be so blinded by love that we cannot see the other's true characteristics.
One way to determine really early if your new love interest needs to be your old love interest is to ask.
It is good to ask our new love about his previous relationships.
Find out what was right and find out what was wrong.
Find out why the women before you did not or could not stay in a relationship with him.
Do not automatically take a side, but weigh whether you can accept what you learn.
Maybe she could not bear his dirty underwear on the floor, but you can.
Maybe she loved his jealous streak, but it bothers you.
Maybe she did not like the idea of having a man that did not cook, and you want your man out of your kitchen.
The main thing is that you find out what his relationship pitfalls were and decide if you can accept them.
Another thing to do is watch.
Watch to see if his story matches what you see.
If he says she was a girl who liked to go out too much, and he basically sits on the couch watching the tube, this may indicate that he prefers to stay home more often than not.
Ask yourself if you like being home and if it will suit you to spend most of your time with a homebody.
Be careful not to rationalize, justify or explain his behavior with statements like "yeah but we had great sex and good food" or "I did want to go to the movies, but we had a great time laughing to re-runs of Seinfeld.
" Once the lovey-dovey period wears off you will begin to want to enjoy things you like, and that is where the conflict will begin.
For the most part, behaviors do not change drastically and you can pretty much count on him being the same man that she left.
Do not be afraid to find out who he really is because he may not be perfect, but he may be perfect for you.
Then, out of nowhere at around the 90-day mark, your new love begins to go stale.
You may continue to hold on hoping things will improve, but in most cases they just go down hill.
I guess a soul mate is referred to as the "the one" and not "the myriad" because most of our encounters with love interests are destined to die.
The early period of a relationship is a starry-eyed time filled with bliss and many times we can be so blinded by love that we cannot see the other's true characteristics.
One way to determine really early if your new love interest needs to be your old love interest is to ask.
It is good to ask our new love about his previous relationships.
Find out what was right and find out what was wrong.
Find out why the women before you did not or could not stay in a relationship with him.
Do not automatically take a side, but weigh whether you can accept what you learn.
Maybe she could not bear his dirty underwear on the floor, but you can.
Maybe she loved his jealous streak, but it bothers you.
Maybe she did not like the idea of having a man that did not cook, and you want your man out of your kitchen.
The main thing is that you find out what his relationship pitfalls were and decide if you can accept them.
Another thing to do is watch.
Watch to see if his story matches what you see.
If he says she was a girl who liked to go out too much, and he basically sits on the couch watching the tube, this may indicate that he prefers to stay home more often than not.
Ask yourself if you like being home and if it will suit you to spend most of your time with a homebody.
Be careful not to rationalize, justify or explain his behavior with statements like "yeah but we had great sex and good food" or "I did want to go to the movies, but we had a great time laughing to re-runs of Seinfeld.
" Once the lovey-dovey period wears off you will begin to want to enjoy things you like, and that is where the conflict will begin.
For the most part, behaviors do not change drastically and you can pretty much count on him being the same man that she left.
Do not be afraid to find out who he really is because he may not be perfect, but he may be perfect for you.
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