Does your ex really want to get back together with you? Good question.
You will need to find the answer to it if your goal is surviving breakups (yours!) and eventually getting back with your former lover.
This is essentially a 2 - step process.
First, the two of you have to think about why you broke up.
Was there infidelity? A big fight? One of you met someone else, without actually cheating (yet)? Or did the relationship simply fade away and die? Whatever it was, you need to talk about it, make compromises, and find a way to do things differently next time.
If there is a next time.
When the moment is right, gradually increase contact with your ex, as you try to patch up your life together.
This is a good time to discover if he/she is even interested in going further.
Next, here are 4 telltale signs that you should watch for.
They will tell you whether the odds of surviving breakups are stacked against you, and if you may be wasting your time with this person.
1.
He is not reliable and /or dependable.
Maybe he never was.
It is hard to make a life with such a guy without going crazy.
For example, he does not call or show up when he says he will, but he always has a bagful of great excuses.
(I was busy, my kids, my job, my sick mother, etc.
) If he really cared about you, he would make the effort to be more trustworthy.
And that is the point.
Two points, actually.
When you are in a relationship with someone, you have to trust them, or it will never work between you.
Even so, trust is a funny thing.
It is hard to come by.
It has to be earned, usually the hard way every single day, by your words and actions.
Then suddenly it can vanish with a single foolish deed or two.
So treat it carefully and gingerly.
It is fragile and easily broken.
The second point has to do with respect.
Being late for dates or other appointments, or forgetting about other commitments, shows a distinct lack of respect for the other person.
She needs to get her priorities straight.
If you are important to her, she has to show it by making room for you in her life.
2.
She is unwilling to make future plans.
You invite her to the big family party in two months, but she will not give you a clear and simple yes or no answer.
This is not good.
Perhaps she does not think the relationship with you will last that long.
Or maybe she is hoping someone more promising will turn up in the meantime.
If this problem pops up more than once or twice, you may have to look elsewhere.
3.
You always call him.
He never (or almost never) takes the initiative to call you first.
Another bad sign.
In this day and age, it is perfectly OK for the girl to call the guy.
But it has to work both ways, more or less.
You are trying to repair your relationship.
This is not the time to play hard to get.
So what is the problem? Try this trick.
Do not call for a few days.
If he does not call you, it is time to forget him and move on.
4.
Finally, here is another major difficulty, in my opinion.
He does not ask you questions about what is happening in your life since you split up.
Not even how you are (really) or what is new with your job.
Yes, some people are placid and laid back, and not lively at all.
If this describes you, take note: Rouse yourself up and show some interest in your mate before it is too late! If it describes your ex, watch out.
He surely knows your interests, habits, friends and job very well.
If he still cannot think of much to ask you, it probably means he is not too interested or does not care, or both.
Either way, it is a bad sign.
Getting back together with a guy like this is likely to be tough and unrewarding.
I hope these 4 points help you think more clearly about where you are going with your ex.
When you meet and these points are running through your head, watch his or her body language closely.
The experts tell us that more than half of all communication is done with body language and gestures.
Taken together, these 4 points and his non-verbal communications will tell you what your prospects are for this relationship.