Saving a Marriage - Want Your Wife Back? Stop Trying to Persuade Her to Come Back
When it comes to saving a marriage, most couples don't really know where to start.
After all, if you could save your marriage, wouldn't you have done so before you started filing for divorce or separation? Once one partner has started talking about a divorce, it actually seems like all hopes of reconciliation go out the window.
But if your wife wants a divorce and you don't, chances are you are still trying to convince her to stay.
If you want your wife back, however, you need to stop trying to convince her that she's wrong.
Why will trying to persuade your wife to come back and work on your marriage backfire? Persuading another person to stay with you, love you, or even just try to save your marriage rarely works because it usually ends in pleading.
Or rationalizing.
And when it comes to love and an emotional relationship, logical reasoning is thrown out the window.
Think about it: you can rationalize a lot of things.
But when it comes right down to it, the heart wants what the heart wants.
And if your wife still loves you, she won't come back because of begging and pleading.
She'll come back because she wants you.
But how do you get your wife to want you again? Saving a marriage can be complex because there are so many negative emotions running high.
That makes it difficult to get through to the positive emotions.
So at this point, if you want your wife back, you need to evoke as many positive emotions as possible.
And you can't do it by pleading with her or begging her to remember the good times.
So how do you do it? You start by giving your wife some space.
If she said she wants a divorce, then that means she needs time apart, right? So you need to give it to her, even if the two of you are still living together.
Try to go for a week or two without talking about your relationship.
If your wife asks you what's wrong, just tell her that you are trying to give her space and you're using this time to work on some things you need to work on for yourself.
You don't need to avoid her, you just want to avoid long, drama-filled conversations about your marriage and the divorce.
This will give both of you some space so that you aren't constantly thinking about your problems.
After all, if you could save your marriage, wouldn't you have done so before you started filing for divorce or separation? Once one partner has started talking about a divorce, it actually seems like all hopes of reconciliation go out the window.
But if your wife wants a divorce and you don't, chances are you are still trying to convince her to stay.
If you want your wife back, however, you need to stop trying to convince her that she's wrong.
Why will trying to persuade your wife to come back and work on your marriage backfire? Persuading another person to stay with you, love you, or even just try to save your marriage rarely works because it usually ends in pleading.
Or rationalizing.
And when it comes to love and an emotional relationship, logical reasoning is thrown out the window.
Think about it: you can rationalize a lot of things.
But when it comes right down to it, the heart wants what the heart wants.
And if your wife still loves you, she won't come back because of begging and pleading.
She'll come back because she wants you.
But how do you get your wife to want you again? Saving a marriage can be complex because there are so many negative emotions running high.
That makes it difficult to get through to the positive emotions.
So at this point, if you want your wife back, you need to evoke as many positive emotions as possible.
And you can't do it by pleading with her or begging her to remember the good times.
So how do you do it? You start by giving your wife some space.
If she said she wants a divorce, then that means she needs time apart, right? So you need to give it to her, even if the two of you are still living together.
Try to go for a week or two without talking about your relationship.
If your wife asks you what's wrong, just tell her that you are trying to give her space and you're using this time to work on some things you need to work on for yourself.
You don't need to avoid her, you just want to avoid long, drama-filled conversations about your marriage and the divorce.
This will give both of you some space so that you aren't constantly thinking about your problems.
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