Survival Questionnaire For Today"s Tourist: The Next Holiday Action Hero
This unassuming but modest group of questions, will inform us a great deal about your ability, your commitment and toughness, to live through a natural calamity or super-uncomfortable man made emergency. But, keep in mind you've got what it takes to be the next 'ultimate' tourist survivor, today's action hero. Don't doubt it for a minute.
Do you want more outrageous adventures in your mediocre existence? O Yes. O No. O Is this a practical jOKe question?
Do you like wearing tight action hero clothing? O Yes. O No. O Ahhh...
Are you a confident thinker who is solution focused? O Yes. O No. O As long as I've got my specs on, I can focus on everything you lob at me.
Do you like to fly? O Yes. O No. O Only with my eyeballs shut and never on Saturday's.
Are you at times emotionally put to the test? O Yes. O No. O Can anyone give me a hug?
Can you 'check out' a threatening scenario quickly? O Yes. O No. O Right, just give me a moment here...
Do you have to be applauded regularly? O Yes. O No. O Positive support is like oxygen to me.
Would discovering a hidden headquarters be a difficulty? O Yes. O No. O Why, can't they find it?
Have you got what it takes to survive a natural disaster? O Yes. O No. O Moving out of my comfort zone always gives me a headache.
Do you set a high benchmark for yourself in crisis preparedness? O Yes. O No. O Could you repeat the question, please? I wasn't ready...
Can you design an action hero uniform? O Yes. O No. O Do you just join-the-dots then paint by numbers?
Are you indecisive? O Yes. O No. O I'll address that question later on... OK?
That finishes your 'ultimate' survivor, today's Action Hero Questionnaire, in due time we will notify you of the outcome. Don't hesitate to contact us at any time concerning the progression of your submission. Nonetheless, that could be hard as we are in our concealed HQ and someone forgot to place our ad in the phone boOK...
NOTE: Every working 'ultimate' survivor - today's action hero's - are required to protect every day tripper at ALL times by following the 'League of Ultimate Survivors' S.O.P Directives:
Action Hero's 'Standard Operating Procedures' (S.O. P's)
Directive # 1. Today's 'ultimate' traveler survivor will constantly have their simple and immediately available action plan at their fingertips in any 'super-scary' natural catastrophe or 'hair-erasing' man made crisis. Then your extraordinary heroics and legendary standing in saving mankind will simply be the norm.
Directive # 2. The only instruction an 'ultimate' traveler survivor is to follow from an ordinary mortal is, "You take over... "
Directive # 3. The only thing today's 'ultimate' backpacker survivor has to be terrified of are the most chilling words in the English vocabulary, "I'm a procrastinator, can I help out?"
Directive # 4. If a 'mega (you guessed it) it's the termination of planet earth', natural or man made shattering disaster happens, all 'ultimate' survivors are to STOP whatever they are doing and as the total annihilation of the earth happens. Enjoy the extraordinary spectacle. Then like a true 'ultimate' survivor, put your head between your legs and kiss your butt goodbye...
Do you want more outrageous adventures in your mediocre existence? O Yes. O No. O Is this a practical jOKe question?
Do you like wearing tight action hero clothing? O Yes. O No. O Ahhh...
Are you a confident thinker who is solution focused? O Yes. O No. O As long as I've got my specs on, I can focus on everything you lob at me.
Do you like to fly? O Yes. O No. O Only with my eyeballs shut and never on Saturday's.
Are you at times emotionally put to the test? O Yes. O No. O Can anyone give me a hug?
Can you 'check out' a threatening scenario quickly? O Yes. O No. O Right, just give me a moment here...
Do you have to be applauded regularly? O Yes. O No. O Positive support is like oxygen to me.
Would discovering a hidden headquarters be a difficulty? O Yes. O No. O Why, can't they find it?
Have you got what it takes to survive a natural disaster? O Yes. O No. O Moving out of my comfort zone always gives me a headache.
Do you set a high benchmark for yourself in crisis preparedness? O Yes. O No. O Could you repeat the question, please? I wasn't ready...
Can you design an action hero uniform? O Yes. O No. O Do you just join-the-dots then paint by numbers?
Are you indecisive? O Yes. O No. O I'll address that question later on... OK?
That finishes your 'ultimate' survivor, today's Action Hero Questionnaire, in due time we will notify you of the outcome. Don't hesitate to contact us at any time concerning the progression of your submission. Nonetheless, that could be hard as we are in our concealed HQ and someone forgot to place our ad in the phone boOK...
NOTE: Every working 'ultimate' survivor - today's action hero's - are required to protect every day tripper at ALL times by following the 'League of Ultimate Survivors' S.O.P Directives:
Action Hero's 'Standard Operating Procedures' (S.O. P's)
Directive # 1. Today's 'ultimate' traveler survivor will constantly have their simple and immediately available action plan at their fingertips in any 'super-scary' natural catastrophe or 'hair-erasing' man made crisis. Then your extraordinary heroics and legendary standing in saving mankind will simply be the norm.
Directive # 2. The only instruction an 'ultimate' traveler survivor is to follow from an ordinary mortal is, "You take over... "
Directive # 3. The only thing today's 'ultimate' backpacker survivor has to be terrified of are the most chilling words in the English vocabulary, "I'm a procrastinator, can I help out?"
Directive # 4. If a 'mega (you guessed it) it's the termination of planet earth', natural or man made shattering disaster happens, all 'ultimate' survivors are to STOP whatever they are doing and as the total annihilation of the earth happens. Enjoy the extraordinary spectacle. Then like a true 'ultimate' survivor, put your head between your legs and kiss your butt goodbye...
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