The Basic Truth Why Domestic Violence Persist
Domestic violence draws an ugly picture of a family life. It is definitely not the "ever after" everyone wishes to have. But despite its ugliness, still it fails to stop and it continues to persist in many homes - subtly, almost quietly that no one knows. The Department of Justice recently concluded in research that almost 1 million incidents of domestic violence happen each year in the United States, and that 25% of American women suffer from such misfortune. Why do these things continue to happen? Having interviewed a Maryland family lawyer for comments, here's what he has to say.
People allow it
Domestic violence could have been non-existent had people not allowed it. This is not to blame those who have been victims or those who are continually experiencing such inhumane act. This is to tell them that they can do something about it, and even against it. In contrast to what people think about this form of violence, it does not have control over you (unless you let it defeat you through fear). When violence starts to threaten you at home, you always have the power to resist. You can leave. You can call the police. You can consult with a family lawyer. You can do many things, except allow it to happen.
Fear of humiliation
Is it your pride that you are having trouble with? Is it the thought of having to face your friends and family after having been beaten up and bruised that you fear the most? Is it facing the community after a broken marriage that makes it very hard for you to leave and call a family lawyer? All of us have different perspectives in life and all us have various principles to live up to. Domestic violence can become very demeaning to one's core, but it is a phase one needs to overcome very fast. Humiliation is a short feeling because as soon as it's exposed it turns into sympathy. Besides, in some little ways, humiliation is better than pain.
Dependency
When you love another person, make sure you never neglect yourself. Domestic violence often occurs to people who have fallen hard for their partners and have not left anything for themselves. Their worlds revolve solely around each of their partners; they tend to lose function in oneâEUR(TM)s absence. "Isn't it how it's supposed in the marriage?" You ask. Ideally, that's how it should, but we must also be open to the idea of the possibility of a failed relationship. When it does not work the way we planned it, a contingency plan must have made. Too much dependency too your partner might hinder you from actually having a fresh start. If this may console you, just tell yourself: "My kids need me."
Background
It's all about the homing instinct. Psychology has a lot to do with this. It's said that a child is too perceptive and receptive about his or her surroundings and the people around him or her. When he or she becomes an adult, he or she most likely searches for the kind of environment he or she is expose during younger years. People from broken - not to mention traumatic - homes, usually have a tendency to bounce back to their past by making their present relationships miserable. But it does not happen to all.
People allow it
Domestic violence could have been non-existent had people not allowed it. This is not to blame those who have been victims or those who are continually experiencing such inhumane act. This is to tell them that they can do something about it, and even against it. In contrast to what people think about this form of violence, it does not have control over you (unless you let it defeat you through fear). When violence starts to threaten you at home, you always have the power to resist. You can leave. You can call the police. You can consult with a family lawyer. You can do many things, except allow it to happen.
Fear of humiliation
Is it your pride that you are having trouble with? Is it the thought of having to face your friends and family after having been beaten up and bruised that you fear the most? Is it facing the community after a broken marriage that makes it very hard for you to leave and call a family lawyer? All of us have different perspectives in life and all us have various principles to live up to. Domestic violence can become very demeaning to one's core, but it is a phase one needs to overcome very fast. Humiliation is a short feeling because as soon as it's exposed it turns into sympathy. Besides, in some little ways, humiliation is better than pain.
Dependency
When you love another person, make sure you never neglect yourself. Domestic violence often occurs to people who have fallen hard for their partners and have not left anything for themselves. Their worlds revolve solely around each of their partners; they tend to lose function in oneâEUR(TM)s absence. "Isn't it how it's supposed in the marriage?" You ask. Ideally, that's how it should, but we must also be open to the idea of the possibility of a failed relationship. When it does not work the way we planned it, a contingency plan must have made. Too much dependency too your partner might hinder you from actually having a fresh start. If this may console you, just tell yourself: "My kids need me."
Background
It's all about the homing instinct. Psychology has a lot to do with this. It's said that a child is too perceptive and receptive about his or her surroundings and the people around him or her. When he or she becomes an adult, he or she most likely searches for the kind of environment he or she is expose during younger years. People from broken - not to mention traumatic - homes, usually have a tendency to bounce back to their past by making their present relationships miserable. But it does not happen to all.
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