After going steady for 5 years, my ex-boyfriend dumped me.  He said we were not compatible.  Can you believe that?  After 5 years!  How could we have stayed together all that time if we were not compatible?  I was confused, angry, depressed and shocked.  I could hardly believe something like that could happen to me.  But the reality was that it did happen.  I remember crying, screaming, punching my pillow in my room and doing some other things that I’d be too embarrassed to admit.

After 3 days, I finally pulled myself together and thought about how to get on with my life.  But I was feeling terribly lonely so I ended up talking to my best friend about my breakup.  She told me to move on and forget him.  If he wants me back he’s got to come crawling back to me instead of me going to him.  Somehow, that did not really sit well with me.  I have always been a go getter in life so I was not used to just passively accepting fate.

I tried contacting my ex-boyfriend but he did not pick up the phone.  After the umpteenth time, when he finally did pick up the phone, I could tell that he was displeased.  He just said that we should remain friends and our relationship was over.  When he hung up, I was dumbfounded.  For once in my life, I did not know what to do.

The following day, my colleague at work asked me if anything was the matter because I did not appear my normal self (that was putting it mildly).  So over lunch we had a chat.  He listened for awhile and then philosophically said, “I know what you should do”.  Then over the next 2 days, he explained to me all about how a guy thinks, how he feels about relationships and the opposite sex, what to do and not do to win a guy’s heart and how to make a guy feel good.  I was amazed.

Based on some unchanging relationship principles, he gave me step-by-step instructions about how to win back my ex-boyfriend.  Armed with my newfound understanding about the male species, I put our plan into action.  The first thing I did was email my ex-boyfriend to tell him I agree with the breakup and that we should remain friends and just stay in touch once in a while.  I told him some of the things I had been doing with my life and wished him well.  Then I stopped contacting him further for the following 4 weeks.

In the meantime, I embarked on some research into some of my ex-boyfriend’s personal interests like aquarium fishes (he’s a real animal lover).  Even though I never had a natural liking for keeping fishes but as I researched, I found the topic quite interesting.  I also got involved in new activities like going to the gym and got myself a new hairstyle and some new clothes.  Of course, I had a purpose for all these things.

One of the things my office colleague told me about guys was that they have massive egos and need to feel in control all the time.  So I devised a way to get in touch with my ex-boyfriend that allowed him to be in control of things.  I decided to start a salt water aquarium and asked him to help me since I did not know as much as he did about this hobby.  He readily agreed.  So we met up to discuss this new project of mine.  Little did he know that I had read up on a few things.  Over the next couple of weeks, we had an enjoyable time getting all the equipment and shopping for fishes to set up my salt water aquarium.  That was my first step towards winning him back and I must say it was a great success.

One thing led to another and eventually, we got to talking about more personal matters.  I am glad to say that seven months later, my boyfriend and I agreed to pick up where we left off.  Today, we are happier than ever and I have never heard my boyfriend say that we are not compatible again.