If you are asking yourself "How can I help my marriage?" I have some suggestions.
My wife and I have been married for over 26 years.
In all that time there were a couple of really close calls where we weren't sure how to keep things together.
But we did, and I want to help you do the same.
I know that you might be thinking that I can't possibly have a clue what you are going through.
And you would be partly right, every situation is unique.
But some problems couples face are pretty universal.
And there are some things you can do that are bound to help improve things in your marriage, even if it looks hopeless.
3 Things I Did To Help My Marriage I want to tell you about three things I have done to help my marriage.
I hope this will not only encourage you but also give you some concrete steps to take to restore your marriage.
Some of these suggestions may seem like no-brainers but I've found that we all sometimes act like we have no brain, so I'll mention them anyway.
Take A Good Look In The Mirror One thing that I have learned is that one of the first things I do when I want to help my marriage is look in the mirror.
I know that's probably not what you want to hear right now but you might need to think about it.
As hard as it is for me to accept, I am often to blame for problems in my marriage.
That doesn't mean that my wife is perfect, just that I'm not either.
Being willing to admit to myself and to my wife that I screwed up is a big step in making sure my marriage stays on track.
Stop Pointing Fingers Another thing I learned to do to help my marriage when it looked like we were headed straight for a divorce is to stop playing the "blame game".
For some reason, whenever our plans don't work out just like we expected we have this tendency to want to blame somebody else.
Often the person we pick for the scapegoat is our spouse and we take our frustration out on them in subtle,and not so subtle, ways.
I used to be very guilty of this.
I would have this scenario of how something was supposed to go all worked out in my mind.
If my wife reminded me of something that conflicted with my mental storyboard I was tempted to blame her for the disruption.
This generally led to some sort of friction between us, if not an outright fight.
I had to learn to be flexible and realize that, sometimes, "stuff happens" and it's nobody's fault.
Talk Is Not A Bad Word Another related bit of wisdom I finally learned involves communication.
I realized that part of the reason I was blaming my wife when my plans fell through was because I saw her as the cause of my frustration.
I felt like she was constantly screwing up my plans.
Actually, the problem was that I was making all these plans in my mind without discussing any of them with her to make sure there wasn't a conflict waiting in the wings.
Then I would get mad when she mentioned anything that made me change my internal plan.
I finally figured out that if I talk to her about what I am planning to do we can work out any potential conflicts before they happen.
I know that all three of these suggestions are very similar.
They all kind of revolve around communication and accepting responsibility for your own actions.
None of this is rocket science, but I bet if you're honest with yourself you will admit that you have made all these mistakes or some just like.
And that's really the key, being honest with yourself.
It's the best thing I did to help my marriage.