The Art of Self Soothing For Depression
One of the first self help techniques that is required to master any of the emotional difficulties we may encounter is one called self-soothing.
The idea of this is so simple you'll be asking, "How is something so simple going to help me overcome my depression?" (Or anxiety or whatever it is you're dealing with now.
) It works because it involves the ability to manipulate your moods by calming or comforting yourself in the face of negative emotions such as depression.
It means to learn to comfort yourself without drugs, food, alcohol or other destructive distractions.
It's a set of strategies designed to help you cope with overwhelmingly negative or anxiety-provoking feelings.
This is not a new concept or one of "psychological mumbo jumbo.
" Rather, it's what emotionally successful people learn from childhood that you might have missed, especially if you came from a dysfunctional home.
It's a critical skill base geared toward self-preservation that actually can make the difference between a successful and happy individual and a deeply suffering and "stuck" one.
I don't believe self-soothing has received enough attention given how important it truly is.
And it is doable for all of us.
There are days and perhaps periods of time when things may not be quite as you had hoped.
As a result, you feel poorly.
To be blunt, you may actually feel like absolute crap.
And you're not alone, there are actually blogs with titles like "Why Do I Feel Like Crap?" You may be thinking about current or past difficulties or dreading upcoming events which would normally trigger self-destructive behaviors or an overwhelming dose of depression.
You might be very anxious or could be experiencing an upheaval in your personal relationships.
You may be fearful that you are going to be abandoned by a spouse or significant other.
All of these are the times when you will be most likely to gravitate back to dysfunctional habits.
You may feel like you absolutely cannot tolerate whatever it is you are feeling, and that thought alone may send you to the medicine chest, the liquor store or the cookie bin.
You may head out on the town to find a replacement for the loved one, someone to make you feel "special and loved.
" You get the picture, all the unwise things we engage in to thwart the pain.
Unfortunately, we all know that these techniques do not work; we then end up fat, drunk, zoned out or in another bad relationship.
We then feel even more distress than we did before setting out to make ourselves feel better with our own brand of self help.
Self-soothing techniques are those you learn in order to replace negative responses to emotion and challenge.
They are the first step in gaining control of your life and relieving yourself of chronic distress.
You know none of these other things are working but you don't know what to do differently or what other people do to remain emotionally stable.
The Self-Soothing Tools: With this in mind, please choose some of the following techniques for self-soothing.
Be prepared to engage in them when you begin to feel lousy.
Give each of the strategies you choose a little test-run so you know the ones you like ahead of time.
You won't feel better if you choose needlepoint as a distraction, then spend all day poking your finger with the needle.
By planning ahead, you're taking control of how you will now handle the less than ideal times in your life.
Think if it akin to hurricane or earthquake preparedness; you get some water, food, and batteries to have on hand.
For your emotional world to be successful, you're gathering the emotional equivalents of these for times of distress.
1.
Talk to someone.
We are social creatures and find comfort in each other in difficult times.
Try to talk to someone who lifts your spirits so the time is spent productively.
Talking to someone who is very negative can leave you feeling worse than when you began.
(Note: Be careful not to produce burnout in your friends and family.
If you feel your needs are excessive, talk to a counselor instead.
) 2.
Distract yourself.
Do something that completely absorbs and interests you.
This is not the same as denial.
This works as it forces you to change gears away from the negative emotionality consuming you in that moment.
a.
Organizational tasks are good, as they allow you to feel some control.
This can include cleaning and organizing your house.
b.
Humor is also a good choice; watch a funny show or read a humorous book if you can't bring yourself to do something active.
c.
Do something for someone else.
Research on depression repeatedly produces results that indicate that helping someone else lifts a person's spirits and that the result is long lasting.
Besides feeling better about yourself, this takes your mind off your immediate problem for the moment and gives you some distance.
Just do an immediate act that is reasonable and easily accomplished for now.
d.
Engage in your work if it absorbs you.
It will shift your mood and it is productive.
e .
Cook something.
This is a creative outlet, and you end up with a great dinner or snack.
Give the food away if you don't want it.
It doesn't have to be a big batch of fattening brownies; it can be a great salad or vegetable dish.
f.
Engage in your hobby or start one to utilize for this purpose.
Painting, carving, needlepoint, etc.
, give your brain something to do besides ruminate, and you'll be creating something pleasant.
3.
Use physical exercise or movement, as it will exhaust and relax you.
Mood is immediately improved by the release of endorphins.
These are brain chemicals or hormones that are released, and they help to interrupt the depressing rumination that takes place when we feel bad.
4.
Dancing is a good activity to pick as it involves music, which can also shift mood.
Just put on your favorite upbeat tunes and start to dance.
Do outrageous moves that make you laugh.
5.
Play games on the computer or a video game.
Do a crossword puzzle or Sudoku.
6.
Research something on the computer that you know nothing about but that has sparked your interest.
Possibilities include travel, science, potential hobbies, and new business ideas.
7.
Engage in relaxation techniques, such as using progressive muscle relaxation, getting a massage, listening to sound recordings on CD, etc.
8.
Meditate.
Many forms of meditation are out there, as well as products to help you start.
9.
Keep in mind you don't have to do anything.
You can feel poorly and not have to act on it.
Acting on it can be what ends up making us feel more depressed.
10.
Be kind to yourself.
This is not the time to beat yourself up with "woulda coulda shoulda" thoughts or other negative self-talk.
Beating yourself up verbally doesn't feel good, and it keeps you grounded in the negative emotionality.
11.
If you really cant get going, cuddle up on the sofa with a pet, your favorite blanket or some other comfort source and treat yourself like you have the flu for a little while.
Watch something uplifting on TV or an inspiring movie, not a tear jerker.
Think of this as basic comforting.
If you're calm and comfortable with yourself, you will be able to withstand the not so great times without engaging in destructive behaviors.
Remember these things are usually temporary and the distress of whatever it is will fade in time.
The idea of this is so simple you'll be asking, "How is something so simple going to help me overcome my depression?" (Or anxiety or whatever it is you're dealing with now.
) It works because it involves the ability to manipulate your moods by calming or comforting yourself in the face of negative emotions such as depression.
It means to learn to comfort yourself without drugs, food, alcohol or other destructive distractions.
It's a set of strategies designed to help you cope with overwhelmingly negative or anxiety-provoking feelings.
This is not a new concept or one of "psychological mumbo jumbo.
" Rather, it's what emotionally successful people learn from childhood that you might have missed, especially if you came from a dysfunctional home.
It's a critical skill base geared toward self-preservation that actually can make the difference between a successful and happy individual and a deeply suffering and "stuck" one.
I don't believe self-soothing has received enough attention given how important it truly is.
And it is doable for all of us.
There are days and perhaps periods of time when things may not be quite as you had hoped.
As a result, you feel poorly.
To be blunt, you may actually feel like absolute crap.
And you're not alone, there are actually blogs with titles like "Why Do I Feel Like Crap?" You may be thinking about current or past difficulties or dreading upcoming events which would normally trigger self-destructive behaviors or an overwhelming dose of depression.
You might be very anxious or could be experiencing an upheaval in your personal relationships.
You may be fearful that you are going to be abandoned by a spouse or significant other.
All of these are the times when you will be most likely to gravitate back to dysfunctional habits.
You may feel like you absolutely cannot tolerate whatever it is you are feeling, and that thought alone may send you to the medicine chest, the liquor store or the cookie bin.
You may head out on the town to find a replacement for the loved one, someone to make you feel "special and loved.
" You get the picture, all the unwise things we engage in to thwart the pain.
Unfortunately, we all know that these techniques do not work; we then end up fat, drunk, zoned out or in another bad relationship.
We then feel even more distress than we did before setting out to make ourselves feel better with our own brand of self help.
Self-soothing techniques are those you learn in order to replace negative responses to emotion and challenge.
They are the first step in gaining control of your life and relieving yourself of chronic distress.
You know none of these other things are working but you don't know what to do differently or what other people do to remain emotionally stable.
The Self-Soothing Tools: With this in mind, please choose some of the following techniques for self-soothing.
Be prepared to engage in them when you begin to feel lousy.
Give each of the strategies you choose a little test-run so you know the ones you like ahead of time.
You won't feel better if you choose needlepoint as a distraction, then spend all day poking your finger with the needle.
By planning ahead, you're taking control of how you will now handle the less than ideal times in your life.
Think if it akin to hurricane or earthquake preparedness; you get some water, food, and batteries to have on hand.
For your emotional world to be successful, you're gathering the emotional equivalents of these for times of distress.
1.
Talk to someone.
We are social creatures and find comfort in each other in difficult times.
Try to talk to someone who lifts your spirits so the time is spent productively.
Talking to someone who is very negative can leave you feeling worse than when you began.
(Note: Be careful not to produce burnout in your friends and family.
If you feel your needs are excessive, talk to a counselor instead.
) 2.
Distract yourself.
Do something that completely absorbs and interests you.
This is not the same as denial.
This works as it forces you to change gears away from the negative emotionality consuming you in that moment.
a.
Organizational tasks are good, as they allow you to feel some control.
This can include cleaning and organizing your house.
b.
Humor is also a good choice; watch a funny show or read a humorous book if you can't bring yourself to do something active.
c.
Do something for someone else.
Research on depression repeatedly produces results that indicate that helping someone else lifts a person's spirits and that the result is long lasting.
Besides feeling better about yourself, this takes your mind off your immediate problem for the moment and gives you some distance.
Just do an immediate act that is reasonable and easily accomplished for now.
d.
Engage in your work if it absorbs you.
It will shift your mood and it is productive.
e .
Cook something.
This is a creative outlet, and you end up with a great dinner or snack.
Give the food away if you don't want it.
It doesn't have to be a big batch of fattening brownies; it can be a great salad or vegetable dish.
f.
Engage in your hobby or start one to utilize for this purpose.
Painting, carving, needlepoint, etc.
, give your brain something to do besides ruminate, and you'll be creating something pleasant.
3.
Use physical exercise or movement, as it will exhaust and relax you.
Mood is immediately improved by the release of endorphins.
These are brain chemicals or hormones that are released, and they help to interrupt the depressing rumination that takes place when we feel bad.
4.
Dancing is a good activity to pick as it involves music, which can also shift mood.
Just put on your favorite upbeat tunes and start to dance.
Do outrageous moves that make you laugh.
5.
Play games on the computer or a video game.
Do a crossword puzzle or Sudoku.
6.
Research something on the computer that you know nothing about but that has sparked your interest.
Possibilities include travel, science, potential hobbies, and new business ideas.
7.
Engage in relaxation techniques, such as using progressive muscle relaxation, getting a massage, listening to sound recordings on CD, etc.
8.
Meditate.
Many forms of meditation are out there, as well as products to help you start.
9.
Keep in mind you don't have to do anything.
You can feel poorly and not have to act on it.
Acting on it can be what ends up making us feel more depressed.
10.
Be kind to yourself.
This is not the time to beat yourself up with "woulda coulda shoulda" thoughts or other negative self-talk.
Beating yourself up verbally doesn't feel good, and it keeps you grounded in the negative emotionality.
11.
If you really cant get going, cuddle up on the sofa with a pet, your favorite blanket or some other comfort source and treat yourself like you have the flu for a little while.
Watch something uplifting on TV or an inspiring movie, not a tear jerker.
Think of this as basic comforting.
If you're calm and comfortable with yourself, you will be able to withstand the not so great times without engaging in destructive behaviors.
Remember these things are usually temporary and the distress of whatever it is will fade in time.
Source...