Your marriage is on its last limb.
So much for "til death to us part.
" If you want get your wife back, it's not going to be easy.
It's going to take work.
But you're ready for that.
Marriage is no walk in the park, but it's worth it.
You must do to save your marriage is have raw communication with your spouse.
Total honesty - openness, devoid of judgment.
And that means on both sides.
You and your spouse have to be able to trust each other in this way, or you'll never get down to the center of the issue of your marriage.
If you still have this raw communication with your spouse, you're that much closer.
You need to take action.
No more contemplating if it's OK to say this or if it's a bad idea to do that.
If you want to get dinner with your wife, ask her to come to dinner with you.
And don't forget what it was about the old times that she fell in love with.
If she liked the way you bantered with the waitresses and waiters at restaurants, don't be afraid to let it shine if you want to.
But be careful not to make it into a tactic.
If you do things to TRY and get your wife back, she will see right through it.
Live authentically.
Only banter with the waiters (if that's your shtick) if you want to, or if you're feeling it, and only do it for your own approval - not hers.
At this kind of a dinner, you need to be civil and relaxed.
No arguing, no blaming, no trying to prove anything.
No agenda.
No recounting on things your ex-wife did that hurt you or any regrets you have.
Just keep it pleasant.
If you become indignant towards her, she will not want to meet with you again, and then you've just shot yourself in the foot.
And don't ask for any apologies.
If you have anything huge you need to apologize for, do it immediately and then let it go.
Don't expect her to apologize in exchange.
And don't expect immediate forgiveness.
But your immediate apology shows her your masculinity and capacity to admit that you were wrong.
Women love that in a man - only real men can do that.
Look - the idea is, it's a joint venture.
A two-way street, if you will.
The both of you need to work on how to save your marriage.
In order to get your wife back, you need to be open to her opinion and realize that you aren't mister-know-it-all.
If you can't accept some things about her side immediately, give it time.
Ask for time to be given.
Just don't immediately disagree.
Is the marriage worth saving? The both of you need to agree on this, or there will be tension.
It takes two! The key of how to get your wife back is cooperation and partnership revitalized in this time of hardship.
That is the point of marriage.
Through better or for worse.
Til death do you part.