Can You Ever Forgive a Cheating Partner? Three Important Things to Consider Before You Even Try!
Many times when caught in difficult situations we tend to immediately try to find someone to blame. It is a lot easier to pass the responsibility to others when something goes wrong. Unfortunately, more often than not, things cannot be seen as black and white. There are many shades of gray especially when you discover that your partner has cheated.
Cheating is not necessarily age or gender related. It is rather a maturity issue in most cases. Mature individuals tend to have more conviction of their choices and are able to view commitment as a crucial step to success. However, lack of affection, indifference and boredom can sometimes contribute to the situation. A cheating partner can often argue that " something was missing".
Once the cheating has occurred, the road to recovery can be long and full of bumps. In order to decide if this is the right path, we need to be able to answer three significant questions:
1 - How important is this relationship to each of the parties involved? In order to forgive a cheating partner we have to be able to view the relationship as something worth saving. It is also important for the unfaithful ones to evaluate how far they are willing to go to make things work. It is not productive to be suspicious of every single action taken by a cheating spouse. A much healthier approach is to make their actions verifiable voluntarily. Patience and open communication are often the best ingredients.
2 - What are the causes that led to the affair? With all the stress of modern life, communication is usually one of the first things to fade in a relationship when we feel safe. By not expressing how we feel, we draw conclusions based on our own perceptions and neglect the feelings of the significant others. By doing so, we put a dent in the relationship that can lead to infidelity. Part of the process of forgiving is acknowledging our part (if any) and willingness to change. Cheating partners that want to save their marriage usually appreciate honest discussions.
3 - Are you able to forgive and move on? Not all of us are able to forgive an unfaithful partner. Once we answer the questions above, we need to asses the damage and recover our sense of safety, always keeping in mind that healing takes time and effort from both parts.
There is always stress associated with dealing with a cheating partner. It is important to give the relationship time to recover as well as give each other space to evaluate past actions. Only then we can decide if the best decision is to save something valuable or let go of what was never there in the first place.
Cheating is not necessarily age or gender related. It is rather a maturity issue in most cases. Mature individuals tend to have more conviction of their choices and are able to view commitment as a crucial step to success. However, lack of affection, indifference and boredom can sometimes contribute to the situation. A cheating partner can often argue that " something was missing".
Once the cheating has occurred, the road to recovery can be long and full of bumps. In order to decide if this is the right path, we need to be able to answer three significant questions:
1 - How important is this relationship to each of the parties involved? In order to forgive a cheating partner we have to be able to view the relationship as something worth saving. It is also important for the unfaithful ones to evaluate how far they are willing to go to make things work. It is not productive to be suspicious of every single action taken by a cheating spouse. A much healthier approach is to make their actions verifiable voluntarily. Patience and open communication are often the best ingredients.
2 - What are the causes that led to the affair? With all the stress of modern life, communication is usually one of the first things to fade in a relationship when we feel safe. By not expressing how we feel, we draw conclusions based on our own perceptions and neglect the feelings of the significant others. By doing so, we put a dent in the relationship that can lead to infidelity. Part of the process of forgiving is acknowledging our part (if any) and willingness to change. Cheating partners that want to save their marriage usually appreciate honest discussions.
3 - Are you able to forgive and move on? Not all of us are able to forgive an unfaithful partner. Once we answer the questions above, we need to asses the damage and recover our sense of safety, always keeping in mind that healing takes time and effort from both parts.
There is always stress associated with dealing with a cheating partner. It is important to give the relationship time to recover as well as give each other space to evaluate past actions. Only then we can decide if the best decision is to save something valuable or let go of what was never there in the first place.
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