The Big “NO-NOs†When Dealing With Infidelity
As we all know, women are more emotionally-wired than men. Meaning, they have the tendency to allow their emotions control their actions and their way of thinking. So when married women face the infidelity of their husbands, they usually react badly at once and make hasty decisions. Let me tell you this: DON'T. Control yourself! Don't allow emotionally-wired choices decide what will happen in your marriage. You have to be the one in control, not your emotions.
There are things that you must do when dealing with infidelity. Included in these things are investigation€"find proof and evidence that he really is cheating on you€"and planning your next step€"what will you do next after obtaining your solid proof?
But with all these things that you MUST DO what are the things that you MUST NOT DO? Here is a list of the Big NO-NOs when dealing with infidelity, especially at the early stage of it.
€ NO ignorance allowed- once you get that eerie yet strong feeling that your spouse may be possibly cheating on you, don't ignore it. Instead, try to find out if it's true or not. And when you get the really obvious signs than it is true, don't deny it because it won't help if you ignore it. The more you deny, the more it will hurt in the end. It is better if you yourself will accept and be the one between you and your husband who will be the responsible and mature one. Try to save your marriage and don't ignore the warning signs.
€ NO acting without preparation- when conducting your investigation of the case of "The Cheater" you must have a goal for it,€"what do you wish to accomplish?€"a reason€"there must be a purpose behind the investigation; do you wish to expose his sin or use what you know to save your marriage€"and the most important thing you must gain is, obviously, the proof€"you need this so that he won't try to escape your confrontation and avoid the possibility of letting him turn the tables against you resulting in making you look like the enemy.
€ NO kicking him out or running away- As much as possible and as long as it is in your power, stay with each other. At least for now, don't send him away nor should you run and leave him just yet. Why? How can you get proof that he is cheating you? How can you have a proper investigation on discovering that he really is for a fact having an affair? You have to be 100% sure he is cheating on you before you make any hasty decisions, and the only way you can do that is by keeping him close and staying subtle about your observations. Are you just going to leave him or let him run off without making him face his consequences? No, you have to try to fix your marriage. So as long as you have a marriage certificate and that ring on your fingers, stick close to him. Don't sacrifice that good with the bad. Continue hoping.
€ NO indulging yourself with the "third party"- thinking and imagining what the "mistress" looks like, what she is like and what made your husband fall for her is a complete waste of valuable "research" time. This will not help in your investigation; instead, it will lead you to becoming helpless and insecure. No. The most important thing right now is that you do everything to save your marriage. It's the fight to see who gets to keep the man€¦and since you're the one married with him, I'll say that you have a head start. Don't let that woman beat you and steal the man you loved so much you whispered the words "I do" in the altar.
If there is a need to confide it to someone, as much as possible, limit it. Don't keep telling every person who asks you "What's wrong with you and your husband?" Be picky when it comes to choosing who to trust because the more who knows about the situation, the more chaotic it will get. Keep the situation private and personal. It will be much easier to work on the case and conduct your investigation with only a few friends knowing about it. And when you confide this problem, as much as possible, may the reason be because you need moral support, and not so you have a "robot army" to go against and devour your husband. Let's fight fire with water, shall we?
After all these things are said and done, the results will be all up to you. So make the right choices at the right place and at the right time. Keep in mind what is important to you and possible good results if it all ends well. But if it still ends in peril and in vain, then both of you must decide whether it's best to stay with each other or leave, and move on. For him, he must decide whether he wants to stay with you or his mistress. And for you, you must decide whether he is worth holding on to and a complete waste of your time.
There are things that you must do when dealing with infidelity. Included in these things are investigation€"find proof and evidence that he really is cheating on you€"and planning your next step€"what will you do next after obtaining your solid proof?
But with all these things that you MUST DO what are the things that you MUST NOT DO? Here is a list of the Big NO-NOs when dealing with infidelity, especially at the early stage of it.
€ NO ignorance allowed- once you get that eerie yet strong feeling that your spouse may be possibly cheating on you, don't ignore it. Instead, try to find out if it's true or not. And when you get the really obvious signs than it is true, don't deny it because it won't help if you ignore it. The more you deny, the more it will hurt in the end. It is better if you yourself will accept and be the one between you and your husband who will be the responsible and mature one. Try to save your marriage and don't ignore the warning signs.
€ NO acting without preparation- when conducting your investigation of the case of "The Cheater" you must have a goal for it,€"what do you wish to accomplish?€"a reason€"there must be a purpose behind the investigation; do you wish to expose his sin or use what you know to save your marriage€"and the most important thing you must gain is, obviously, the proof€"you need this so that he won't try to escape your confrontation and avoid the possibility of letting him turn the tables against you resulting in making you look like the enemy.
€ NO kicking him out or running away- As much as possible and as long as it is in your power, stay with each other. At least for now, don't send him away nor should you run and leave him just yet. Why? How can you get proof that he is cheating you? How can you have a proper investigation on discovering that he really is for a fact having an affair? You have to be 100% sure he is cheating on you before you make any hasty decisions, and the only way you can do that is by keeping him close and staying subtle about your observations. Are you just going to leave him or let him run off without making him face his consequences? No, you have to try to fix your marriage. So as long as you have a marriage certificate and that ring on your fingers, stick close to him. Don't sacrifice that good with the bad. Continue hoping.
€ NO indulging yourself with the "third party"- thinking and imagining what the "mistress" looks like, what she is like and what made your husband fall for her is a complete waste of valuable "research" time. This will not help in your investigation; instead, it will lead you to becoming helpless and insecure. No. The most important thing right now is that you do everything to save your marriage. It's the fight to see who gets to keep the man€¦and since you're the one married with him, I'll say that you have a head start. Don't let that woman beat you and steal the man you loved so much you whispered the words "I do" in the altar.
If there is a need to confide it to someone, as much as possible, limit it. Don't keep telling every person who asks you "What's wrong with you and your husband?" Be picky when it comes to choosing who to trust because the more who knows about the situation, the more chaotic it will get. Keep the situation private and personal. It will be much easier to work on the case and conduct your investigation with only a few friends knowing about it. And when you confide this problem, as much as possible, may the reason be because you need moral support, and not so you have a "robot army" to go against and devour your husband. Let's fight fire with water, shall we?
After all these things are said and done, the results will be all up to you. So make the right choices at the right place and at the right time. Keep in mind what is important to you and possible good results if it all ends well. But if it still ends in peril and in vain, then both of you must decide whether it's best to stay with each other or leave, and move on. For him, he must decide whether he wants to stay with you or his mistress. And for you, you must decide whether he is worth holding on to and a complete waste of your time.
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