How to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work
I was young and head over heals for my military man.
I was starting College and he was being shipped across the country.
We would spend up to 8 months apart and 2 weeks together before he would then ship out again.
There were many emotional up's and downs in this relationship.
Choosing to fight through them and be together although challenging presented us with a stronger ability to be close.
Some of the biggest challenges we faced in our relationship were:
What makes these even larger in a long distance relationship is the distance factor.
When you are around someone everyday you have the body language along with conversation.
You have the touch when you are sad or alone.
You have a sense of trust because they are close by.
With long distance relationships you must now rely on a new senses and styles to effectively keep these together.
It is not an impossible feat if you both are together.
You now just have to adjust and learn them in a new way.
When entering a long distance relationship you must be comfortable in accepting these new ways of being together.
It is your comfort level that will ultimately determine how you will stay together.
In discussing some of these key factors and how we dealt with them it became clear to me that the keys to closeness and trust were in the communication.
The root of a relationship is communication and it can only grow into closeness and trust if given the right attention.
As long as both parties stay committed to the work it takes the relationship will have a fighting chance.
Communication Since we could not see each other we relied a lot on phone conversations.
The phone can present the influx in voice, silence, and a sense of being there with the person.
During these phone conversations we talked about your events and things you have done.
This will also contribute to our trust factors.
Talking about your daily lives will give each other a sense of closeness that carries you through.
Since he was in the military we didn't have much choice to but to communicate on the phone on few occasions.
In this case we relied on other ways we communicate such as letters, pictures, and emails.
We were constantly communicating even if at times it was a week or two between.
We always picked up where we left off and that made communication that much easier.
This was years ago and with today's technology it is even more optimal because you can now utilize many other options for communications.
One big one to mention is webcams.
Closeness Closeness is felt in how you communicate with the other person.
Seeing pictures and sending love letters via mail or email can be quite good.
Often times when I was feeling alone and missing my man greatly I would sit and write him.
I found that by telling him about my feelings and how much I missed him I was able to cope with my feelings.
When we were able to be together for a few short weeks we found that the closeness we developed in communicating made our time together wonderful.
Trust This really is an important piece.
Since you do not see this person regularly it is hard to know what they are doing.
If you go a week or two between communications your mind can start to wander and think the worst.
Trusting is something you choose to do and good communication and closeness will make that feeling stronger.
By staying open about your daily lives in communication trust becomes easier to obtain.
Our relationship lasted 3 years long distance.
I have known many that have lasted forever.
All of them agree that the keys to long distance relationships are in the communication.
Closeness and Trust come with the root of good communication.
We parted on good terms and we both still care a great deal for each other.
We just moved in different directions.
It was that closeness and communication that enabled us to make that decision for us.
I was starting College and he was being shipped across the country.
We would spend up to 8 months apart and 2 weeks together before he would then ship out again.
There were many emotional up's and downs in this relationship.
Choosing to fight through them and be together although challenging presented us with a stronger ability to be close.
Some of the biggest challenges we faced in our relationship were:
- Communication
- Closeness
- Trust
What makes these even larger in a long distance relationship is the distance factor.
When you are around someone everyday you have the body language along with conversation.
You have the touch when you are sad or alone.
You have a sense of trust because they are close by.
With long distance relationships you must now rely on a new senses and styles to effectively keep these together.
It is not an impossible feat if you both are together.
You now just have to adjust and learn them in a new way.
When entering a long distance relationship you must be comfortable in accepting these new ways of being together.
It is your comfort level that will ultimately determine how you will stay together.
In discussing some of these key factors and how we dealt with them it became clear to me that the keys to closeness and trust were in the communication.
The root of a relationship is communication and it can only grow into closeness and trust if given the right attention.
As long as both parties stay committed to the work it takes the relationship will have a fighting chance.
Communication Since we could not see each other we relied a lot on phone conversations.
The phone can present the influx in voice, silence, and a sense of being there with the person.
During these phone conversations we talked about your events and things you have done.
This will also contribute to our trust factors.
Talking about your daily lives will give each other a sense of closeness that carries you through.
Since he was in the military we didn't have much choice to but to communicate on the phone on few occasions.
In this case we relied on other ways we communicate such as letters, pictures, and emails.
We were constantly communicating even if at times it was a week or two between.
We always picked up where we left off and that made communication that much easier.
This was years ago and with today's technology it is even more optimal because you can now utilize many other options for communications.
One big one to mention is webcams.
Closeness Closeness is felt in how you communicate with the other person.
Seeing pictures and sending love letters via mail or email can be quite good.
Often times when I was feeling alone and missing my man greatly I would sit and write him.
I found that by telling him about my feelings and how much I missed him I was able to cope with my feelings.
When we were able to be together for a few short weeks we found that the closeness we developed in communicating made our time together wonderful.
Trust This really is an important piece.
Since you do not see this person regularly it is hard to know what they are doing.
If you go a week or two between communications your mind can start to wander and think the worst.
Trusting is something you choose to do and good communication and closeness will make that feeling stronger.
By staying open about your daily lives in communication trust becomes easier to obtain.
Our relationship lasted 3 years long distance.
I have known many that have lasted forever.
All of them agree that the keys to long distance relationships are in the communication.
Closeness and Trust come with the root of good communication.
We parted on good terms and we both still care a great deal for each other.
We just moved in different directions.
It was that closeness and communication that enabled us to make that decision for us.
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