Why is Coming Out for Gays so Difficult?
In the span of only ten or twenty years, homosexuals living in the U.S. have gained a wider amount of acceptance by society that has ever been seen before in U.S. history. There are openly gay actors and actresses, openly gay characters on television, openly gay celebrities, et cetera. But with all the progress we've made, most gays and lesbians still find coming out of the closet to be one of the most difficult times of their lives. With so much more acceptance than ever before, why is it still so hard to come out of the closet?
It's not easy being different.
For all the progress that the gay rights movement has made, being homosexual still is not "the norm" in our society. And as Kermit the Frog said, "it's not easy being green." We are ultimately a society of conformity and from a young age we are taught to look down upon things that are different. Boys don't take ballet class or wear dresses, and girls don't play football or shave off all their hair. As children we are often mocked for our differences, and sadly adults are oftentimes no better than children. As homosexuals we fear that our friends and family members will not accept our differences.
It's a violent world.
We've all heard stories on the news of gays and lesbians being the victims of violent hate crimes. This can be something as simple as being bullied in high school to something as serious as being beaten up in the streets. Although no one condones this type of violence, it still occurs. And often, the victim is the one who receives the blame, accused of somehow "flaunting" their sexuality.
Gays are still viewed as "less than."
Obviously gays and lesbians are still struggling for equal rights: the right to marry, the right to adopt, the right to be protected from discrimination in the workplace. But there are other, more subtle ways that society tells us that they believe gays are not equal citizens. For example, New Jersey ex-governor Jim McGreevey announced that he was homosexual. But instead of staying on to be the first openly gay governor in the U.S. instead he resigned from his post. Why can't someone be gay and be the governor of New Jersey? Whether he intended to or not, Mr. McGreevey sent the message loud and clear that he feels that being gay is somehow unsuitable. And sadly for the rest of us, actions like these only hurt our chances at being widely accepted in U.S. society.
Parents don't plan to have gay children.
No matter how open and liberal minded your parents are, most likely they did not imagine that you would be gay when you were born. Of course there is nothing wrong with being gay, but parents have a certain amount of expectations about what life experiences they will have with their children. They imagine prom photos and weddings and birthday parties for their grandchildren. They don't expect commitment ceremonies and gay adoption. Most parents accept their gay children once they have come out, but there is still the fear that by coming out you are disappointing your parents forever.
It's not easy being different.
For all the progress that the gay rights movement has made, being homosexual still is not "the norm" in our society. And as Kermit the Frog said, "it's not easy being green." We are ultimately a society of conformity and from a young age we are taught to look down upon things that are different. Boys don't take ballet class or wear dresses, and girls don't play football or shave off all their hair. As children we are often mocked for our differences, and sadly adults are oftentimes no better than children. As homosexuals we fear that our friends and family members will not accept our differences.
It's a violent world.
We've all heard stories on the news of gays and lesbians being the victims of violent hate crimes. This can be something as simple as being bullied in high school to something as serious as being beaten up in the streets. Although no one condones this type of violence, it still occurs. And often, the victim is the one who receives the blame, accused of somehow "flaunting" their sexuality.
Gays are still viewed as "less than."
Obviously gays and lesbians are still struggling for equal rights: the right to marry, the right to adopt, the right to be protected from discrimination in the workplace. But there are other, more subtle ways that society tells us that they believe gays are not equal citizens. For example, New Jersey ex-governor Jim McGreevey announced that he was homosexual. But instead of staying on to be the first openly gay governor in the U.S. instead he resigned from his post. Why can't someone be gay and be the governor of New Jersey? Whether he intended to or not, Mr. McGreevey sent the message loud and clear that he feels that being gay is somehow unsuitable. And sadly for the rest of us, actions like these only hurt our chances at being widely accepted in U.S. society.
Parents don't plan to have gay children.
No matter how open and liberal minded your parents are, most likely they did not imagine that you would be gay when you were born. Of course there is nothing wrong with being gay, but parents have a certain amount of expectations about what life experiences they will have with their children. They imagine prom photos and weddings and birthday parties for their grandchildren. They don't expect commitment ceremonies and gay adoption. Most parents accept their gay children once they have come out, but there is still the fear that by coming out you are disappointing your parents forever.
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