Parenting a Sensitive Child: 8 Discipline Strategies
Sensitive children pose some challenges when it comes to discipline. Sensitive kids tend to become emotionally overwhelmed easily. They are likely to cry if you raise an eyebrow at their behavior and often worry about getting into trouble.
Sometimes sensitive aren’t just emotionally sensitive, but they’re sensitive when it comes to all their senses. Loud noises, bright lights or certain textures can send them into a tailspin. They might fear large crowds and struggle to deal with any type of change.
Sensitive kids might be viewed as shy. They are often hesitant to try new things as they fear failure. They struggle to deal with frustration and sometimes their peer interactions suffer if they are viewed as “the kid who cries a lot” or “the kid who gets mad easily.”
When determining your discipline strategies, take your child’s sensitivity into account. Yelling, harsh discipline or severe consequences are likely to cause more problems. Instead, find ways to nurture and guide your child.
Don’t try to change your child’s temperament. Instead, try to help your child learn how to cope with sensitivity in a less sensitive world. Instead of viewing your child as “wimpy and whiny” try looking at your child’s strengths and gifts.
Although it might be tempting to bend the rules so as to not upset a sensitive child, it won’t be helpful in the long run. It’s okay to be flexible with some things but remember that the important thing is to teach your child how to be a responsible adult. Your discipline needs to teach your child the six life skills that he’ll need to become a responsible adult, even if he’s sensitive. If you’re too easy on your child, he won’t be prepared to deal with the real world.More »
Offer lots of praise and encouragement. Try praising your child’s efforts rather than only praising success. For example, say, “I like the way you are trying really hard even though this is frustrating,” rather than saying, “Wow you did it perfectly.” Make it clear that hard work and effort is worthy of praise, even if it doesn’t turn out perfect in the end.
Provide praise for behaving bravely and handling frustration appropriately. Also, provide praise when your child tells the truth. Sometimes children who are sensitive lie to get out of trouble so provide them with a lot of praise for being honest, especially if their honesty doesn’t paint them favorably.More »
Use rewards to help your child feel a sense of accomplishment. Sensitive kids sometimes feel bad if they “get in trouble” so simply changing the way you word things can spin it into a reward. For example, instead of saying, “You can’t eat dessert unless you eat all your dinner,” say, “If you eat all your dinner you can earn dessert!”
Create a formal reward system to help them earn rewards consistently. Beware however, as sensitive kids sometimes feel really bad if they don’t earn a reward. Be prepared to praise their efforts and use reminders such as, “You can try again tomorrow.”
Sensitive kids need to learn how to verbalize their feelings and they also need to learn appropriate ways to cope with those feelings. Emotion coaching can be a great way to help kids learn how to identify and deal with uncomfortable feelings in socially acceptable ways.More »
All children need problem-solving kids, but for sensitive kids, it can make a big difference in their daily life. Often, sensitive children avoid uncomfortable situations or become easily overstimulated. Teaching them skills to solve problems gives them increased confidence in their ability to handle situations.
For example, a sensitive 10-year-old girl might want to go to an overnight birthday party with friends. However, she might worry that the other girls will want to stay up late watching scary movies. As a result, she might try to avoid going to the party. Teaching her problem-solving skills can help give her the confidence that she can deal with this problem if it arises.More »
Sensitive kids need negative consequences just like every other child. Just because a child cries or feels bad, doesn’t mean he doesn’t need an additional consequence. However, it is important to use discipline and not punishment. Logical consequences can be helpful as they connect the consequence directly to the misbehavior.More »
Sometimes sensitive aren’t just emotionally sensitive, but they’re sensitive when it comes to all their senses. Loud noises, bright lights or certain textures can send them into a tailspin. They might fear large crowds and struggle to deal with any type of change.
Sensitive kids might be viewed as shy. They are often hesitant to try new things as they fear failure. They struggle to deal with frustration and sometimes their peer interactions suffer if they are viewed as “the kid who cries a lot” or “the kid who gets mad easily.”
When determining your discipline strategies, take your child’s sensitivity into account. Yelling, harsh discipline or severe consequences are likely to cause more problems. Instead, find ways to nurture and guide your child.
1. Accept Your Child’s Sensitivity
Don’t try to change your child’s temperament. Instead, try to help your child learn how to cope with sensitivity in a less sensitive world. Instead of viewing your child as “wimpy and whiny” try looking at your child’s strengths and gifts.
2. Provide Plenty of Downtime
Sensitive kids are often exhausted after dealing with crowds of people, bright lights and overstimulation. Most of them want time to relax and take a break. Avoid overscheduling your child or expecting too much participation in activities that involve crowds. Some parents find it helpful to offer a child a “peace corner” with quiet activities such as coloring books, headphones with soothing music or books to read. Creative outlets can be very helpful.3. Set Limits
Although it might be tempting to bend the rules so as to not upset a sensitive child, it won’t be helpful in the long run. It’s okay to be flexible with some things but remember that the important thing is to teach your child how to be a responsible adult. Your discipline needs to teach your child the six life skills that he’ll need to become a responsible adult, even if he’s sensitive. If you’re too easy on your child, he won’t be prepared to deal with the real world.More »
4. Praise Your Child’s Efforts
Offer lots of praise and encouragement. Try praising your child’s efforts rather than only praising success. For example, say, “I like the way you are trying really hard even though this is frustrating,” rather than saying, “Wow you did it perfectly.” Make it clear that hard work and effort is worthy of praise, even if it doesn’t turn out perfect in the end.
Provide praise for behaving bravely and handling frustration appropriately. Also, provide praise when your child tells the truth. Sometimes children who are sensitive lie to get out of trouble so provide them with a lot of praise for being honest, especially if their honesty doesn’t paint them favorably.More »
5. Provide Rewards
Use rewards to help your child feel a sense of accomplishment. Sensitive kids sometimes feel bad if they “get in trouble” so simply changing the way you word things can spin it into a reward. For example, instead of saying, “You can’t eat dessert unless you eat all your dinner,” say, “If you eat all your dinner you can earn dessert!”
Create a formal reward system to help them earn rewards consistently. Beware however, as sensitive kids sometimes feel really bad if they don’t earn a reward. Be prepared to praise their efforts and use reminders such as, “You can try again tomorrow.”
6. Teach Feeling Words
Sensitive kids need to learn how to verbalize their feelings and they also need to learn appropriate ways to cope with those feelings. Emotion coaching can be a great way to help kids learn how to identify and deal with uncomfortable feelings in socially acceptable ways.More »
7. Teach Problem-Solving Skills
All children need problem-solving kids, but for sensitive kids, it can make a big difference in their daily life. Often, sensitive children avoid uncomfortable situations or become easily overstimulated. Teaching them skills to solve problems gives them increased confidence in their ability to handle situations.
For example, a sensitive 10-year-old girl might want to go to an overnight birthday party with friends. However, she might worry that the other girls will want to stay up late watching scary movies. As a result, she might try to avoid going to the party. Teaching her problem-solving skills can help give her the confidence that she can deal with this problem if it arises.More »
8. Logical Consequences
Sensitive kids need negative consequences just like every other child. Just because a child cries or feels bad, doesn’t mean he doesn’t need an additional consequence. However, it is important to use discipline and not punishment. Logical consequences can be helpful as they connect the consequence directly to the misbehavior.More »
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