Enduring A Bad Coach
I belong to numerous sports associations, read various websites and blogs, mainly baseball/softball related, not only because they're interesting, but to keep me abreast of changing times.
This year one theme seems to be popping up on a more consistent basis, and that is how to endure, or what to do about a bad coach, and I find this extremely disturbing.
Coaches have always been rated, as you always want your kid to have the best coaching available, and humans have an inherent gene of competition and subconsciously rate everything in their life.
In my day the "unofficial rating system" stemmed from the coach's attitude or style of coaching.
Was he really competitive, just taught to have fun, extremely knowledgeable, or had school playground experience and I honestly don't believe I ever heard anyone talk or refer to a coach as being Bad.
So what's changed? Perhaps the society that is producing mass murderers on a weekly basis, absentee parents or the dog eat dog environment of the work place.
I honestly don't have any answers, but I do believe one thing; Youth sports can the foundation to rebuilding values, yes the Leave It To Beaver syndrome, which is missing.
Let's attempt to define a "Bad Coach," which is not as easy as it might first seem.
I once witnessed a coach in the last inning, down by 5 runs, with 2 outs, call for a suicide squeeze, which virtually ended the game.
Was he a bad coach or a mad scientist with strategies far above the average coach? I saw a coach lose a big lead and ultimately the game because he replaced all of his normal pitchers with substitute players, but when his pitcher suddenly couldn't find the plate and walked 12 batters in a row, he was helpless to stop it.
Was he a bad coach or simply trying to get his less skilled players playing time in what appeared to be a blowout.
See what I mean? There's a huge difference between bad coaching and questionable or even stupid coaching decisions.
These types of experiences may leave you shaking your head years later, but they did not adversely affect the players.
On the other hand and in my opinion a bad coach can exemplify numerous common traits; (1.
) Spoiled Brat syndrome.
This coach is the greatest guy in the world to be around, until things don't go his way, then he goes into tirades of throwing or kicking things.
(2.
) Bully syndrome.
This coach attempts to intimidate young umpires by questioning every call, moaning and groaning at every pitch and questions some obscure rule which may not even apply in order to confuse the umpires.
(3.
) Not my fault syndrome.
This coach constantly yells at his players who made a physical or mental error, pointing out the player was taught better exonerating the coach from any fault.
(4.
) Loser syndrome.
This guy preaches and coaches that cheating just a little is OK if it's in the name of winning.
The ends justifies the means type of coaching.
(5.
) Idiot syndrome.
There's stronger terms I could use for this type of coach, but...
This guy berates and belittles individual players for mistakes.
The player is already embarrassed and angry at himself, but let's slam his ego into the ground some more.
There are, of course, additional undesirable traits which make a bad coach, but these are the biggies I've seen.
In response to passive comments I've read on the various blogs & newsletters, I say No parent should allow their child to be subjected to these types of conditions for an entire season.
It could literally destroy a kid's desire to play not only this game, but sports period.
I suggest parents do this: (*) Bring whatever the complaint is to the coach's attention in a very non-confrontational manner.
Just like you want your kid to be corrected with positive re-enforcement, the coach deserves the same opportunity.
He may not realize what he's doing.
(*) Should the coach fail to respond to the complaint, which if he's a bully he may become worse, take your complaints to a board member of your association.
Board members are volunteers who are there solely for the kids and don't want bad apples spoiling the entire system any more than you do.
(*) For several reasons it's best if more than 1 parent complain to the board and bring specific incidents, not just the guy's a jerk, which he may be.
Number one, if you're the only one disgruntled enough to complain you'd better review your position as you may be wrong.
Secondly, the board is composed of people who are no different than you or I with preconceived opinions, and 1 person complaining falls into the sour sport category with little impact.
(*) If it's determined the coach is bad, but nothing, for whatever reason, can be done, it's decision time; 1.
Depending on the player's age, explain the situation, offering advise and encouragement to help the player handle the situation; 2.
Coaching the player yourself the correct method, either physical skills or moral decisions, which counters the coach's orders.
3.
If the situation is intolerable, pull your kid off the team.
This is the last choice as there are the possible repercussions of having your child feeling like a quitter and could subject him/her to peer ridicule.
Be sure to plan an exit strategy explaining why the move.
The bottom line is Parents do not have to endure a "Bad Coach" unless they want to.
This year one theme seems to be popping up on a more consistent basis, and that is how to endure, or what to do about a bad coach, and I find this extremely disturbing.
Coaches have always been rated, as you always want your kid to have the best coaching available, and humans have an inherent gene of competition and subconsciously rate everything in their life.
In my day the "unofficial rating system" stemmed from the coach's attitude or style of coaching.
Was he really competitive, just taught to have fun, extremely knowledgeable, or had school playground experience and I honestly don't believe I ever heard anyone talk or refer to a coach as being Bad.
So what's changed? Perhaps the society that is producing mass murderers on a weekly basis, absentee parents or the dog eat dog environment of the work place.
I honestly don't have any answers, but I do believe one thing; Youth sports can the foundation to rebuilding values, yes the Leave It To Beaver syndrome, which is missing.
Let's attempt to define a "Bad Coach," which is not as easy as it might first seem.
I once witnessed a coach in the last inning, down by 5 runs, with 2 outs, call for a suicide squeeze, which virtually ended the game.
Was he a bad coach or a mad scientist with strategies far above the average coach? I saw a coach lose a big lead and ultimately the game because he replaced all of his normal pitchers with substitute players, but when his pitcher suddenly couldn't find the plate and walked 12 batters in a row, he was helpless to stop it.
Was he a bad coach or simply trying to get his less skilled players playing time in what appeared to be a blowout.
See what I mean? There's a huge difference between bad coaching and questionable or even stupid coaching decisions.
These types of experiences may leave you shaking your head years later, but they did not adversely affect the players.
On the other hand and in my opinion a bad coach can exemplify numerous common traits; (1.
) Spoiled Brat syndrome.
This coach is the greatest guy in the world to be around, until things don't go his way, then he goes into tirades of throwing or kicking things.
(2.
) Bully syndrome.
This coach attempts to intimidate young umpires by questioning every call, moaning and groaning at every pitch and questions some obscure rule which may not even apply in order to confuse the umpires.
(3.
) Not my fault syndrome.
This coach constantly yells at his players who made a physical or mental error, pointing out the player was taught better exonerating the coach from any fault.
(4.
) Loser syndrome.
This guy preaches and coaches that cheating just a little is OK if it's in the name of winning.
The ends justifies the means type of coaching.
(5.
) Idiot syndrome.
There's stronger terms I could use for this type of coach, but...
This guy berates and belittles individual players for mistakes.
The player is already embarrassed and angry at himself, but let's slam his ego into the ground some more.
There are, of course, additional undesirable traits which make a bad coach, but these are the biggies I've seen.
In response to passive comments I've read on the various blogs & newsletters, I say No parent should allow their child to be subjected to these types of conditions for an entire season.
It could literally destroy a kid's desire to play not only this game, but sports period.
I suggest parents do this: (*) Bring whatever the complaint is to the coach's attention in a very non-confrontational manner.
Just like you want your kid to be corrected with positive re-enforcement, the coach deserves the same opportunity.
He may not realize what he's doing.
(*) Should the coach fail to respond to the complaint, which if he's a bully he may become worse, take your complaints to a board member of your association.
Board members are volunteers who are there solely for the kids and don't want bad apples spoiling the entire system any more than you do.
(*) For several reasons it's best if more than 1 parent complain to the board and bring specific incidents, not just the guy's a jerk, which he may be.
Number one, if you're the only one disgruntled enough to complain you'd better review your position as you may be wrong.
Secondly, the board is composed of people who are no different than you or I with preconceived opinions, and 1 person complaining falls into the sour sport category with little impact.
(*) If it's determined the coach is bad, but nothing, for whatever reason, can be done, it's decision time; 1.
Depending on the player's age, explain the situation, offering advise and encouragement to help the player handle the situation; 2.
Coaching the player yourself the correct method, either physical skills or moral decisions, which counters the coach's orders.
3.
If the situation is intolerable, pull your kid off the team.
This is the last choice as there are the possible repercussions of having your child feeling like a quitter and could subject him/her to peer ridicule.
Be sure to plan an exit strategy explaining why the move.
The bottom line is Parents do not have to endure a "Bad Coach" unless they want to.
Source...