Well, there it was. A woman who used to be Lindsay Lohan hosted Saturday Night Live this week for the first time since 2006, and who, since that time, has had and endless series of legal troubles, public meltdowns, tabloid romances, the implosion of a once-promising career and so much more. And, truth be told, it was tough to watch Lohan on the show this week, because she just seemed so nervous, as though she recognized that she had everything to lose but was hoping to earn enough goodwill from one successful episode of a sketch comedy show that it could start to turn things around.

And that was too much weight for an episode of SNL to support.

The cynic in me wants to suggest that having Lohan host was just a ratings grab for SNL, and the fact that she was so heavily advertised to get people to tune in but then hardly used throughout the episode would seem to support this theory. But a lot of hosts go underused on the show, so this is hardly a phenomenon that's unique to this week. The optimist in my wants to applaud SNL for giving Lohan a shot, because there definitely was some risk involved. "Safe" is booking Taylor Swift. Lindsay Lohan comes with a lot of baggage -- an endless field of landmines to navigate in the writers room. I guess what made this week's episode such a letdown is that SNL refused to commit either way. They didn't really attempt to navigate those landmines (except for a few throwaway jokes in the monologue), but they also didn't just cast all the baggage aside and try to put on a really good show. In trying to be safe, the episode came off confused and a little dull.

Sketch Highlights

• "Cold Open: Shephard Smith/Mitt Romney" - The show opened this week with one of its standard political commentary cold opens, but with at least one inspired touch: that FOX News' Shephard Smith talks to his dead mother like Norman Bates in Psycho. SNL has been better about layering jokes on top of jokes into their sketches this season, and this is a good example of that -- the "A" sketch is standard stuff, but the "B" sketch going on at the same time is weird and interesting and funny. The energy of the whole thing was kind of low -- this would have worked better in the middle of the show than as the opener -- but I hope that we see more of Shehpard Smith's dead mom in the future. I'm not saying SNL has to bring it back right away; I'm just saying that when they do, they should keep this joke going. (Watch the "Shephard Smith/Mitt Romney" video)
• "Lindsay Lohan Monologue" - Ok. So, here it was. Someone that looked like Lindsay Lohan, plus 15 years and a lot of plastic surgery, took the stage for the monologue and was very, very visibly nervous. SNL tried to have it both ways by making jokes about her criminal past, but maybe there's not a lot of laughter to be had from crime. The whole thing felt kind of sad, is what I'm saying. I'm not judging, but we can objectively agree that Lohan is a mess, and just about every minute of the monologue reminded us of that fact. The show did everything it could to hedge its bets, including bringing in Jimmy Fallon and Jon Hamm -- both of whom engender instant goodwill -- but it was hard to shake the discomfort. Also, I can't believe that Kenan Thompson has been in the cast for, I don't know, a decade (?) and this is the first time he's done a Good Burger joke. Long, long overdue. (Watch the "Lindsay Lohan Monologue" video)
• "The Real Housewives of Disney" - Probably the best sketch of the night, even though it required pretty deep knowledge of both Bravo TV shows and Disney movies. Still, you have to like a sketch that rewards you for knowing more. I like when the show finds a way to use all the female cast members, which doesn't happen very often, and this one had the added benefit of finding ways for all of them to be funny -- save for Lohan, who seemed nervous and out of place right from the outset. The rest worked, though, and even Kristen Wiig's drunk routine never crossed the line into straight up mugging. (Watch the "Real Housewives of Disney" video)
• "Psychic Awards" - A solid sketch with a funny idea, but just an "ok" execution. I laughed the first time the camera cut to one of the nominees, who already realized he wasn't going to win, but by the fifth time it was no longer funny. Also funny was the "in memorium" montage -- especially the final slide, even though it gave way to a pretty terrible tag on the sketch. It was short, though, and used pretty much all of the cast, which I always enjoy. Lohan had nothing to do and got not a single laugh, but such was the way of this week's show. (Watch the "Psychic Awards" video)
• "Scared Straight" - I have never been a fan of this sketch. Not ever. It's just an excuse to write really long, elaborate rape jokes, and to see just how completely dirty the writers can be and still get away with on network TV. The one laugh in this week's offering was the host saying "I'm Lindsay Lohan." She seemed completely lost for the rest of it, as though she had shown up and been handed a script five minutes before airtime. (Watch the "Scared Straight" video)
• "Delinquent Girl Teen Gang" - I don't know. I mean, it was just the same thing over and over again, and as much as I enjoyed Fred Armisen's "I got this" attitude, the sketch never quite worked for me. (Watch the "Delinquent Girl Teen Gang" video)
• "B108FM" - I may be alone in the fact that there were parts of this sketch that I really enjoyed. It was nothing new, and felt like a hybrid of about four other sketches/characters the show has done in the past (the Underground rock festival guys, Jimmy Fallon's web cam guy, Jimmy Fallon's morning DJ character), but something about the combination of obnoxious DJs, cold Minnesota weather and the constant reminders of how early it was made me laugh. There were some good jokes here, like the guys trying to predict which schools were closed or Taran Killam's reference to the "blinking red lights." It didn't all come together, and Lohan was once again sidelined with a nothing role (that she didn't play all that convincingly), but it had a couple of different ideas going on at once. I'll take it. (Watch the "B108FM" video)
• "Digital Short: Afros" - This is my least favorite kind of Digital Short, because it exists just for the sake of its own oddness. If the site of Andy Samberg and Kristen Wiig's giant joint afro wasn't enough to convince you of this fact, how about Kenan Thompson's succession of eccentric instruments? Or that the whole thing is couched as a wedding invitation? It seems like there hasn't been a Digital Short on the show in several weeks, and this was hardly a return to form. At least, not the kind of form I prefer. (Watch the "Digital Short: Afros" video)
• "House Sitting" - Everything about this sketch felt like a two-person improv on stage at Second City -- including Kristen Wiig's neckbrace, which seemed to be included because an audience volunteer had shouted "Neckbrace!" I did like the little misdirection surrounding the story of her injury, though. Otherwise, this was just pretty bad, with Wiig mugging and Lohan not knowing what to do for yet another sketch. Besides, The State already did the "calls are coming from inside your pants" punchline, and it was way funnier almost 20 years ago because "butt dialing" wasn't a thing. It was just a silly way to wrap up a sketch. (Watch the "House Sitting" video)
• "Buddha" - I once helped write a sketch called "Grumpy Buddha," and this reminded me of that. The big problem with this -- besides the overall lack of good jokes and the fact that it once again gave Lindsay Lohan nothing to do (except seem nervous and uncomfortable, which is a given) -- is that it didn't even follow through on its own premise. Buddha needed to be rude to people's faces, right? Or am I crazy? I'm crazy. You know what I'm not crazy about? Rude Buddha.
• "'70s Album" - This could have been really funny if it had just ended with Sudekis putting his back to the camera for a really, really long time (for a second I thought that's where it was going, and my heart swelled with pride for what the show was going to try and pull off). But then, as is so often the way of SNL, they have to get an announcer on and put the thing in some sort of stupid context. To make matters worse, a second, almost identical sketch ran immediately afterwards, stepping on any enjoyment derived from the first one. It almost seemed like these were supposed to run at different points in the show, and were jammed in as an afterthought when someone realized the show was running a little short. Probably not, though. (Watch the "'70s Album" video)

• Original Air Date: 3/3/12
• Host: Lindsay Lohan
• Musical Guest: Jack White