Consistency Is a Vital Element of Good Discipline
Consistency allows a child to know what to expect.
It clearly shows a child just how far he can go and what the consequences will be if he chooses to cross that line.
More importantly, it enables even a young child to draw a map of his world in his head.
This creates a great sense of security and stability in a child.
Even a 1 year old can learn 'yes/no', 'touch/don't touch'.
Having learnt these rules of the house, a toddler will quickly learn to apply these same rules to other people's houses.
This means your child will not only be welcome in other people's houses but they will have learnt their first lesson in manners - 'don't touch other people's things'.
Consistency creates security Another advantage of consistency is that children see their parents as predictable and reliable.
These children know exactly how their parents will react in any situation because that is how they have always reacted.
Children of consistent, calm parents do not fear them because they have learned that their parents never lose their temper; they do not wonder what the consequence will be because it is always the same consequence.
This creates a wonderfully relaxed environment for children to grow up in.
The importance of teamwork Part of consistency, though, is for parents to work together as a team.
It is important to talk about your styles of parenting and come up with a plan that you will both support.
Remember, the simpler, the better.
Don't leave room for confusion or inconsistency.
There will be instances where one parent feels strongly that the other parent is being unfair.
However unfair the situation may appear, though, (we are not talking about abusive situations), it is important that the other parent appear completely supportive, even if they have to grit their teeth or find an excuse to walk away.
Children will forget the circumstances of a perceived injustice quickly, especially if they know their parents always try to be fair.
What they don't forget is discord between their parents.
What they file away is the beginning awareness of the tactic 'divide and conquer'.
Any idea that they can run to mum or dad whenever they don't like the decision of the other parent will cause friction in the family and between parents.
Don't let this ever develop.
Always appear supportive and then discuss the issue in private.
It is so easy to fall into these patterns but it is important to remind oneself that more harm is caused by unsupportive parenting than by unjust corrections.
It clearly shows a child just how far he can go and what the consequences will be if he chooses to cross that line.
More importantly, it enables even a young child to draw a map of his world in his head.
This creates a great sense of security and stability in a child.
Even a 1 year old can learn 'yes/no', 'touch/don't touch'.
Having learnt these rules of the house, a toddler will quickly learn to apply these same rules to other people's houses.
This means your child will not only be welcome in other people's houses but they will have learnt their first lesson in manners - 'don't touch other people's things'.
Consistency creates security Another advantage of consistency is that children see their parents as predictable and reliable.
These children know exactly how their parents will react in any situation because that is how they have always reacted.
Children of consistent, calm parents do not fear them because they have learned that their parents never lose their temper; they do not wonder what the consequence will be because it is always the same consequence.
This creates a wonderfully relaxed environment for children to grow up in.
The importance of teamwork Part of consistency, though, is for parents to work together as a team.
It is important to talk about your styles of parenting and come up with a plan that you will both support.
Remember, the simpler, the better.
Don't leave room for confusion or inconsistency.
There will be instances where one parent feels strongly that the other parent is being unfair.
However unfair the situation may appear, though, (we are not talking about abusive situations), it is important that the other parent appear completely supportive, even if they have to grit their teeth or find an excuse to walk away.
Children will forget the circumstances of a perceived injustice quickly, especially if they know their parents always try to be fair.
What they don't forget is discord between their parents.
What they file away is the beginning awareness of the tactic 'divide and conquer'.
Any idea that they can run to mum or dad whenever they don't like the decision of the other parent will cause friction in the family and between parents.
Don't let this ever develop.
Always appear supportive and then discuss the issue in private.
It is so easy to fall into these patterns but it is important to remind oneself that more harm is caused by unsupportive parenting than by unjust corrections.
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