Are You Really Committed To What You Say You Want?
Are there a number of things you say you want in your life or career but do not have yet? Maybe they include:
* Be fitter and healthier
* Earn more money
* Have my professional life align with who I am and my values
* Start a business
* Write a book, paint, play music
* Create a beautiful atmosphere in my home environment
* Speak my truth
* Build wealth
* Cultivate more faith and trust/deeper spiritual life
* Be more adventurous
* Have richer relationships
These are all lovely. I've spoken many of them aloud myself at one time or another. I hear many of the people in my audiences and communities say these with gusto as well. Then something interesting happens...
Have you ever thought of what you want, then started to take action or created a plan, maybe even executed the plan for a short while (a few days, weeks, months...) and then found yourself right back where you started from? You just gave up. Maybe it happened subtly, like the actions just drifted into the ethers. Or, maybe you said you couldn't continue because
"it's too hard"
or
"I don't have enough: money, time, space, energy ..."
If that's the case then do yourself a favor and be honest with yourself. You're not really committed to having what you say you want. You're merely interested.
The perfect quote that sums this up was given to me recently by my own mentor.
"If you're interested, you'll do what's convenient. If you're committed, you'll do whatever it takes." - John Assaraf
Let's take a very common example and one that I fully shifted within my own life years ago and now feels very effortless to me. That example is eating right and exercising. Many people say they want to be healthier and fitter. So, they embark on a new "diet" (notice the word "die" in that?) and vow they will go to the gym 3, 4, 5, 6 times a week. It lasts for a few weeks (if that) and then the first time they bump up against a challenge - a glitch in their schedule, a chocolate dessert calling to them, or the seeming ease of whipping through the fast food drive-thru, their quest to be healthy and fit ends abruptly at a dead end (or a Big Mac).
Have you ever experienced this?
This is what it is like to be merely interested in what you say you want. If it isn't convenient, you don't do it. This same vibe of just being interested shows up professionally when you say you want a career that is more meaningful but you do nothing about it. When you say you want to get paid but your worth but resign yourself to status quo. When you say you're going to be more authentic but cower into conformity to please others.
Using the "healthy and fit" example, commitment means you do whatever is necessary to exercise regularly and make healthy food choices. You orient your schedule so you have a standing commitment to exercise. If you miss a day because of something unexpected and unavoidable you get right back on track the next day without beating yourself up or giving up. You consciously choose what you wish to fuel your body with in terms of food and you set yourself up to succeed by doing the necessary grocery shopping and preparation or hiring a personal chef or making healthy choices while eating out. Does this mean you never bask in some Ben & Jerry's or eat a yummy pizza with cheese dripping down your chin? Hell no...of course you do, but only as it serves your highest commitment to yourself. And, of course you don't do it all the time.
As I shared before this area of my life has become effortless (believe me it certainly was anything BUT for years). If I find myself out of town with a packed schedule, you're likely to find me exercising at 6:00am (not my favorite time...but I do what it takes), walking at breaks, and packing some of my own healthy snacks and green tea. Because I am committed I do what it takes and instead of detracting from my experiences it actually enhances them.
Let me be clear...this is not about right or wrong. There is nothing inherently better about being committed rather than simply interested. We need both sets of energies in our lives and businesses.
For instance, I used to be fully committed to studying classical guitar. I practiced an hour a day (or many more) every day no matter what. Now, I still love to play, but I fall into the interested category. I spend time playing regularly but not even close to the level I did before and I am totally, 100% OK with that.
It's easy to lie and say we're OK with something when deep inside we're truly not. Your heart doesn't lie, your feelings don't lie, so don't lie to yourself - it is abusive, painful, and counterproductive.
Here's my coach's challenge to you --
Take some time this week and journal. Write down the things you say you want. Then ask am I interested or committed to what I say I want?
Copyright (c) 2010 Paula Gregorowicz
* Be fitter and healthier
* Earn more money
* Have my professional life align with who I am and my values
* Start a business
* Write a book, paint, play music
* Create a beautiful atmosphere in my home environment
* Speak my truth
* Build wealth
* Cultivate more faith and trust/deeper spiritual life
* Be more adventurous
* Have richer relationships
These are all lovely. I've spoken many of them aloud myself at one time or another. I hear many of the people in my audiences and communities say these with gusto as well. Then something interesting happens...
Have you ever thought of what you want, then started to take action or created a plan, maybe even executed the plan for a short while (a few days, weeks, months...) and then found yourself right back where you started from? You just gave up. Maybe it happened subtly, like the actions just drifted into the ethers. Or, maybe you said you couldn't continue because
"it's too hard"
or
"I don't have enough: money, time, space, energy ..."
If that's the case then do yourself a favor and be honest with yourself. You're not really committed to having what you say you want. You're merely interested.
The perfect quote that sums this up was given to me recently by my own mentor.
"If you're interested, you'll do what's convenient. If you're committed, you'll do whatever it takes." - John Assaraf
Let's take a very common example and one that I fully shifted within my own life years ago and now feels very effortless to me. That example is eating right and exercising. Many people say they want to be healthier and fitter. So, they embark on a new "diet" (notice the word "die" in that?) and vow they will go to the gym 3, 4, 5, 6 times a week. It lasts for a few weeks (if that) and then the first time they bump up against a challenge - a glitch in their schedule, a chocolate dessert calling to them, or the seeming ease of whipping through the fast food drive-thru, their quest to be healthy and fit ends abruptly at a dead end (or a Big Mac).
Have you ever experienced this?
This is what it is like to be merely interested in what you say you want. If it isn't convenient, you don't do it. This same vibe of just being interested shows up professionally when you say you want a career that is more meaningful but you do nothing about it. When you say you want to get paid but your worth but resign yourself to status quo. When you say you're going to be more authentic but cower into conformity to please others.
Using the "healthy and fit" example, commitment means you do whatever is necessary to exercise regularly and make healthy food choices. You orient your schedule so you have a standing commitment to exercise. If you miss a day because of something unexpected and unavoidable you get right back on track the next day without beating yourself up or giving up. You consciously choose what you wish to fuel your body with in terms of food and you set yourself up to succeed by doing the necessary grocery shopping and preparation or hiring a personal chef or making healthy choices while eating out. Does this mean you never bask in some Ben & Jerry's or eat a yummy pizza with cheese dripping down your chin? Hell no...of course you do, but only as it serves your highest commitment to yourself. And, of course you don't do it all the time.
As I shared before this area of my life has become effortless (believe me it certainly was anything BUT for years). If I find myself out of town with a packed schedule, you're likely to find me exercising at 6:00am (not my favorite time...but I do what it takes), walking at breaks, and packing some of my own healthy snacks and green tea. Because I am committed I do what it takes and instead of detracting from my experiences it actually enhances them.
Let me be clear...this is not about right or wrong. There is nothing inherently better about being committed rather than simply interested. We need both sets of energies in our lives and businesses.
For instance, I used to be fully committed to studying classical guitar. I practiced an hour a day (or many more) every day no matter what. Now, I still love to play, but I fall into the interested category. I spend time playing regularly but not even close to the level I did before and I am totally, 100% OK with that.
It's easy to lie and say we're OK with something when deep inside we're truly not. Your heart doesn't lie, your feelings don't lie, so don't lie to yourself - it is abusive, painful, and counterproductive.
Here's my coach's challenge to you --
Take some time this week and journal. Write down the things you say you want. Then ask am I interested or committed to what I say I want?
Copyright (c) 2010 Paula Gregorowicz
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