Funny Quotes About Life To Make You Very Happy Person

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Funny quotes - One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that ones work is terribly important.

Funny quotes about life - An economist is a surgeon with an excellent scalpel and a rough-edged lancet, who operates beautifully on the dead and tortures the living.

I havent reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife.

We always like those who admire us; we do not always like those whom we admire.

I had a dream last night, I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. I woke up this morning and the pillow was gone

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car"

Funny quotes - Everyone has a "best friend" during each stage of life only a precious few have the same one.

I have lost friends, some by dath, others through sheer inability to cross the street.

Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair stylist you like.

Never wear a backward baseball cap to an interview unless applying for the job of umpire.

Funny quotes about life - And we should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh.

"Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother."

When you see a married couple coming down the street, the one who is two or three steps ahead is the one that's mad.

"To cease smoking is the easiest thing. I ought to know. I've done it a thousand times."

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.

Every morning, I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If Im not there, I go to work.

Little men with little minds and little imaginations go through life in little ruts, smugly resisting all changes which would jar their little worlds.

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

However mean your life is, meet it and live it: do not shun it and call it hard names. Cultivate poverty like a garden herb, like sage. Do not trouble yourself much to get new things, whether clothes or friends. Things do not change, we change. Sell your clothes and keep your thoughts

Light travels faster than sound. Thats why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Funny quotes about life - A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to thirty-five and your job still requires you to wear a name tag, you've made a serious vocational error.
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