Dealing with a breakup can be devastating.
Breakups and divorce rank in the top three of life's most stressful events.
Even if the breakup is amiable or mutual, the emotional fallout can still be difficult to overcome.
In this article we will discuss some of the major emotional processes involved in a breakup and how acupuncture, herbs and homeopathy can be a great support in helping your body and spirit through this stressful time.
You can't experience any of the emotions in their full intensity unless you are willing to experience them all.
A wise teacher said this to me once and it is important to remember during difficult times.
It's easy to ask why? what is it point, why would I put myself through this? And to that there is no easy answer.
but one thing is certain, we cannot experience the highs of joy and love unless we also experience the lows of sorrow and despair.
The Major Emotions.
Breakups take us through a wide spectrum of feelings, sometimes it can feel like you touch on the entire emotional spectrum in one day.
But if we were to break it down into simple categories the two major emotional processes in most breakups in betrayal and grief.
Lets look at each of these in turn.
Betrayal Betrayal shows up in most breakups for at least one of the partners involved, but often both.
Even if there is no deceit or lying involved, simply the feeling that someone has left the mutual agenda of the relationship to follow their own agenda can feel like a betrayal.
If there is actually lying, deception, or cheating these emotions intensify even more.
Feelings of betrayal shatter our foundations of trust, make our hearts feel like they've been physically hurt, and often leave us in shock.
The added insult of betrayal in a breakup is that often we've also just lost the one person we would go to for solace.
Betrayal can leave you feeling like you don't know the person you were involved with at all, and often can lead you to question the whole basis of the relationship.
According to the philosophies of Five Element Acupuncture betrayal causes the greatest damage to your heart, and heart-protector systems.
Your heart-protector, also referred to as your Pericardium, is the energetic system that allows you to open and close yourself to intimacy with another person.
The Pericardium experiences betrayal as the same as a physical injury.
Just because you can't see the damage doesn't mean it's not real or physical.
In fact a recent study has even found a link between heartbreak with heart disease.
Betrayal is first registered as shock, "i just can't believe it'.
Then as the Pericardium tries to do damage control you can feel numb, bruised, mistrustful, shut down, or in intense physical pain.
At this stage the goal of any kind of treatment would focus on supporting the Pericardium, helping it repair the emotional damage from the betrayal without becoming bitter, hardened or unable to function at all, leaving you wide open for another betrayal.
Acupuncture points on the Pericardium channel can help with this, so can herbal formulas that are used for physical traumas.
For example I often like to give Arnica homeopathic for shock and betrayal.
It helps a bruised heart as much as it helps a bruised muscle.
The herb Hawthorne is a wonderful remedy for soothing heartache, and Yarrow is also a great remedy for giving your heart some protection while it heals.
The flower essence combination called Rescue Remedy is also a great way to stabilize shock, or the disbelief after a sudden breakup or betrayal.
Grief Most people are now familiar with Elizabeth Kubler-Ross's five stages of grief.
They are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
It is important to remember when dealing with grief that you can cycle through these stages in any order and it is very common to repeat stages.
You might be really angry for a while and then find yourself in acceptance, only to realize you are in denial about something else and get really depressed.
Sound familiar? There is no right way to go through grief, but it is common to get stuck in one or many of these stages.
Anyone who has experienced the death of a loved one, or family member, may find all the old grief resurfacing during a breakup, even if the relationship was not that serious.
Grief ultimately is the acceptance of the impermanence of everything in our lives.
It is fundamental to the human experience, and its teaches to value and savor what we have, even as we become aware that we will one day lose it.
Unresolved grief affects our Lungs and Large Intestine Officials.
Treating both these channels with Five Element Acupuncture can be a great way to help lighten the burden of grief.
As can the homeopathic remedy Ignatia Amara, as well as the herb Hawthorne.
Whatever the emotions you are going through, this is a great time to get some support.
Whether it just be reaching to friends, getting some acupuncture, seeing a counselor or reading some self-help books, this is a great opportunity to get to know yourself better and re-connect with your community.
Sometimes the healing that follows a breakup can give you greater gifts than the relationship itself.