Don"t Tolerate People You Dislike - Use Encounters With Them To Your Advantage
No matter how nice of a person you are, or how much time you spend on personal growth- we all run into people we dislike.
I'll be honest enough to admit that when I dislike someone the last thing I want to do is follow sound advice such as pretending that I already like the person.
I couldn't imagine generating warm thoughts for someone I disliked.
It seems impossible.
Fortunately, over the years, I realized how destructive my reactions were to people I disliked and decided to do something about it.
I changed my perspective by realizing two simple facts: 1.
The entire population except for me is made up of other people.
2.
When I react negatively to people I dislike, I surrender my energy and power to someone I deem unworthy.
Once I changed my perspective about people I disliked, I decided to use each encounter to my advantage.
My strategy for dealing with people I dislike is as follows: 1.
Limit contact with those you dislike.
I'm a firm believer that we should avoid unnecessary pain and discomfort.
Why torture ourselves when we don't have to? Granted we can't use this approach with everyone we dislike, especially if the person we dislike is a relative or our boss.
That's when we need to use a different approach.
2.
Be the more mature person.
In understanding that the world doesn't revolve around us, be open-minded and put yourself in the shoes of the person you dislike.
He or she is a person, too, and we may be able to gain insight that will help us tolerate him or her better.
3.
When your dislike for a person will not go away, change your strategy.
For example: I used to work with a guy who loved to make others look bad so that he could look good.
He always attempted to poke holes in my work to discredit my entire effort.
The situation got so bad that I could anticipate his behavior and that's when I realized my first big advantage.
Thanks to this irritating, unlikable co-worker, I improved my ability to present ideas and suggestions to my boss.
You see, instead of letting my dislike for this co-worker get me all worked up, I realized that he presented me with a great opportunity.
He was unknowingly providing me with a competitive edge.
He caused me to lift my work results to an entirely new level, because I knew he'd look for flaws.
As a result, my work was consistently better than his and other co-workers.
4.
Each person we dislike can potentially teach us something.
It's often said that learn and grow the most when we experience pain or discomfort.
Knowing this, I ask myself what can I learn from being around a person I dislike? Maybe the person I dislike presents an opportunity to practice being tactful or the opportunity to practice controlling my emotions.
Many times, I find that people I dislike teach me what NOT to do.
Most importantly, by determining what I can learn from people I dislike I strengthen my people skills which equips me to interact more effectively with others.
So the next time you run into someone you dislike, simply ask yourself, how can this encounter benefit me? If you take this approach, you will definitely find hidden benefits.
I'll be honest enough to admit that when I dislike someone the last thing I want to do is follow sound advice such as pretending that I already like the person.
I couldn't imagine generating warm thoughts for someone I disliked.
It seems impossible.
Fortunately, over the years, I realized how destructive my reactions were to people I disliked and decided to do something about it.
I changed my perspective by realizing two simple facts: 1.
The entire population except for me is made up of other people.
2.
When I react negatively to people I dislike, I surrender my energy and power to someone I deem unworthy.
Once I changed my perspective about people I disliked, I decided to use each encounter to my advantage.
My strategy for dealing with people I dislike is as follows: 1.
Limit contact with those you dislike.
I'm a firm believer that we should avoid unnecessary pain and discomfort.
Why torture ourselves when we don't have to? Granted we can't use this approach with everyone we dislike, especially if the person we dislike is a relative or our boss.
That's when we need to use a different approach.
2.
Be the more mature person.
In understanding that the world doesn't revolve around us, be open-minded and put yourself in the shoes of the person you dislike.
He or she is a person, too, and we may be able to gain insight that will help us tolerate him or her better.
3.
When your dislike for a person will not go away, change your strategy.
For example: I used to work with a guy who loved to make others look bad so that he could look good.
He always attempted to poke holes in my work to discredit my entire effort.
The situation got so bad that I could anticipate his behavior and that's when I realized my first big advantage.
Thanks to this irritating, unlikable co-worker, I improved my ability to present ideas and suggestions to my boss.
You see, instead of letting my dislike for this co-worker get me all worked up, I realized that he presented me with a great opportunity.
He was unknowingly providing me with a competitive edge.
He caused me to lift my work results to an entirely new level, because I knew he'd look for flaws.
As a result, my work was consistently better than his and other co-workers.
4.
Each person we dislike can potentially teach us something.
It's often said that learn and grow the most when we experience pain or discomfort.
Knowing this, I ask myself what can I learn from being around a person I dislike? Maybe the person I dislike presents an opportunity to practice being tactful or the opportunity to practice controlling my emotions.
Many times, I find that people I dislike teach me what NOT to do.
Most importantly, by determining what I can learn from people I dislike I strengthen my people skills which equips me to interact more effectively with others.
So the next time you run into someone you dislike, simply ask yourself, how can this encounter benefit me? If you take this approach, you will definitely find hidden benefits.
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