The first time daddy's princess or mommy's little darling pushes away and wipes off kisses or refused to be hugged can seem devastating. But the reality is that getting the cold shoulder or ignored is a normal part of a kid's development toward independence.

Experts say that kids around age 6 may start getting embarrassed with overt parent affection, including a refusal to hold hands, hug or give kisses, express sentiments such as "I love you" in public, or pretty much even acknowledge that mom and dad holds a special place in the heart.

But, as hard as it, relax! The behaviors of pushing away or getting ignored is a developmental phase, and doesn't mean your child thinks any less of you...in private, that is.

While getting a cold shoulder is logical from a rational standpoint, that first rejection is often hard to take at first. Moms and dads should understand the behavior, and then take it in stride. If your kid doesn't want a kiss and hug in front of friends, then don't. If your son wants to walk into first grade by himself, offer a cheery wave and then leave. And, even if it's difficult, don't turn on the guilt and try and make your child bestow affection. Even the most distant child in public is often the one who becomes very affectionate and loving at home, especially around bedtime.

Here are some tips for keeping the closeness while your child is dissing you in public to keep the bond close:

• Create a simple sign, shake, or even phrase just between you and your kid as a "secret" sign of affection...nobody else has to know what it really means.

• Pick nicknames for each other (use when it's just the two of you).
• Have a special evening with just the two of you each month, and make it very special. For younger kids, it can be a trip to McDonald's and special playtime; an older kid might prefer a game of miniature golf. Keep it simple but fun.
• Write a message in your kid's lunchbox or place a sticky-note on the mirror where he gets ready in the mornings. What if your youngster can't yet read? That's okay; a hand-drawn heart and a smile from mom or dad is just as effective.
• Establish a ritual of one-on-one show and tell or talk time and really listen to the day's events.
• Be involved with your child's school or daycare, and stay connected (at least on the sly).
• Learn what embarrasses your kid and then avoid doing it. You want your kid begging you to come to lunch and not shuddering with embarrassment if you do.
• Surprise your child with small tokens of love. It can be a simple as a sticker or a heart pencil. Those gestures mean more to your kids than they may ever express, but you'll both know how much each cares.
• If your kid wants to talk, make it a priority. Laundry can wait while your son talks about his day or your daughter shows you her pictures.

By respecting a kid's newfound and growing independence, you may just get a surprise someday with an unexpected hug or showing of affection...and maybe, just maybe, even in public!