Have you ever noticed how young people have an amazing level of self confidence, in situations that may fill you with dread.
Next time you notice a similar situation lets just pause for a moment, 'why do you think this person is so brave and you shrivel at the thought of doing the same thing'.
In many cases it isn't a case of how brave you are, compared to the individual that seems to handle the situation so well, it is simply a case of association or to put it differently your thought patterns lead you to a deep rooted sub-conscious outcome that is not a desirable one.
Lets take for example, you are sitting on a coach/train and just a few seats in front you a group of children are making a mess throwing crisps at each other.
How would react to this? would you quickly stand up and maybe reason with the children that nobody on this coach wants to be sprayed with crisps can you stop that!.
Would you lose your temper and wildly shout at the children to stop, or do you just sit still and hope someone else deals with it as the thought fills you with dread having to deal with it yourself.
My guess is that the majority of people would just sit still what do you think? So why is it that the thought of having to deal with the situation is probably a lot more stressful than the actual act.
Association is the problem not the children here.
In your past you have probably witnessed a similar situation or have been involved in one yourself that has left you with a sense of shock or trauma.
afterwords your conscious thoughts have continually revolved around the event.
The thoughts will have circled in your conscious mind for a short time no more than 24 hrs is my guess unless a great deal stress was involved! Now this process of your conscious mind allowing thoughts that you don't like to swim around in your mind has a very real purpose.
Your sub-conscious mind is being programmed by a system of your conscious mind to create a safety mechanism or a specific thought pattern that will in some way protect you from a future event happening again to your self.
So at this point you should realise that your conscious mind has your safety as a priority but sometimes just makes a mess of things.
What could be possible if you could go in to your sub-conscious mind and reprogram your thought patterns (associations) to a better outcome.
It is possible it is not as easy as letting your conscious mind do it for you through states of shock or trauma but with practice can become easier.
An exercise to try is find a comfortable place, a place that would suit someone meditating.
Now in your memory find a pattern of thoughts that leads to a situation that you often avoid, now using you imagination and memory picture yourself as a confident individual (it has to be yourself from a time when you were in your element thriving in self confidence) now in your minds eye picture yourself dealing with this situation head on and ending in a positive outcome.
Now the most important thing to do at this moment is to physically sit up right smile as you are imagining the positive outcome.
Follow this simple exercise a few times a day and in no time you will begin to feel a new sense of confidence in your life when you need it as long as you sit upright and smile.
your new thought patterns will start to make a difference give it time and Good luck.