What Should I Do About My Hair Loss?
Your column is a terrific resource, even for an old geezer like me, and I read it with eagerness each week.
My hope is that you'll find it within your heart to assist me with a problem, which it appears I'll labor under for the remainder of my life, but have not yet found a classy or correct manner in which to endure it. I am in my early 50s, trim, athletic build, holding up rather well in most areas of physicality.
I have a trim beard and mustache, which I've worn since college to hide a weak chin inherited from my father's side of the family.
A couple of years ago, at the suggestion of a friend, I began using Just For Men hair coloring, medium brown, on my beard and what's left of my hair and have had adequate positive, encouraging and amazed reactions. So that's not a problem. Baldness, however, is.
I began to lose my hair at a very early age. Both of my grandfathers were billiard balls, and at age 18 I was purchasing liquor for friends who were 17-20, as I was never, and have never been, "carded." My hair was so thin that even my mother panicked, demanding that I not wash my hair as she assumed my hygiene to be the culprit. I could not endure the look or feel of unwashed hair, so degenerated into lying, but was later relieved when science revealed that shampooing had no ill effect on the amount or rapidity of hair loss in men.
For the last 10 years, at least, I've felt a strong compulsion to shave my head.
I like the look on other men, find it masculine and attractive, and "correct" in nearly any setting. When I revealed to my hairstylist my intentions, she could scarcely conceal her horror. Her objections were that the look was only appropriate on "larger" men (i.e., competition body-builders), or those who rode motorcycle. I waited. The urge returned and this time I asked friends and others closer to me. Without exception I was confronted with a chorus of "nays." Objections ranged from personal dislike for short hair to the probable clash of buzzed hair with my "style." I have no style, just T-shirts and jeans for casual, button-downs and trousers on those occasions when I work, sports-coats to tuxes for the various levels of formality which I encounter in life.
The archives for your column discuss hairstyles for men with nicely shaped skulls but I could find nothing for those of us who carry about less than perfect orbs atop our shoulders. This is hugely discouraging as I have a poorly shaped skull. I still want to shave my head, just let the reality of my defect stand out, as I'm dubious that I'm fooling anyone anyway. No one I know is supportive of this measure; however, no one wants to see me grow the sides out in some ungainly gnarl à la Allen Ginsberg in his later years.
What to do, Daniel? I turn to you with barely-suppressed panic and ask if there's anything at all you can suggest for an imperfectly formed, bald guy to do with his remaining hair, or just his head in general?
Please help me. My message perhaps doesn't convey how my self-esteem has fallen, how miserably unhappy I am about my appearance.
My response to this wonderfully written and heartfelt letter is this: go ahead and shave your head if that's what you want to do, and don't concern yourself with what other people think. It's hard not to feel insecure about ourselves with the barrage of seemingly perfect guys that don the covers of men's fashion and health magazines. Turn on the television and it's the same thing. However, and I mean this, even the most "good looking" people I know have insecurities about themselves. We could beat ourselves up for not having a better body, being taller, or having a nicer fill in the blank. It's not worth it. Ultimately, being imperfect is perfect. I wallowed in insecurity for years over many things and what I realized is that it stopped me from actually living. I highly encourage you to embrace your imperfections and worry about the things you can control, like health, great relationships, being a snappy dresser and other things that might give you a little more spring in your step.
Here are more tips on dealing with hair loss from our men's hair expert.
My hope is that you'll find it within your heart to assist me with a problem, which it appears I'll labor under for the remainder of my life, but have not yet found a classy or correct manner in which to endure it. I am in my early 50s, trim, athletic build, holding up rather well in most areas of physicality.
I have a trim beard and mustache, which I've worn since college to hide a weak chin inherited from my father's side of the family.
A couple of years ago, at the suggestion of a friend, I began using Just For Men hair coloring, medium brown, on my beard and what's left of my hair and have had adequate positive, encouraging and amazed reactions. So that's not a problem. Baldness, however, is.
I began to lose my hair at a very early age. Both of my grandfathers were billiard balls, and at age 18 I was purchasing liquor for friends who were 17-20, as I was never, and have never been, "carded." My hair was so thin that even my mother panicked, demanding that I not wash my hair as she assumed my hygiene to be the culprit. I could not endure the look or feel of unwashed hair, so degenerated into lying, but was later relieved when science revealed that shampooing had no ill effect on the amount or rapidity of hair loss in men.
For the last 10 years, at least, I've felt a strong compulsion to shave my head.
I like the look on other men, find it masculine and attractive, and "correct" in nearly any setting. When I revealed to my hairstylist my intentions, she could scarcely conceal her horror. Her objections were that the look was only appropriate on "larger" men (i.e., competition body-builders), or those who rode motorcycle. I waited. The urge returned and this time I asked friends and others closer to me. Without exception I was confronted with a chorus of "nays." Objections ranged from personal dislike for short hair to the probable clash of buzzed hair with my "style." I have no style, just T-shirts and jeans for casual, button-downs and trousers on those occasions when I work, sports-coats to tuxes for the various levels of formality which I encounter in life.
The archives for your column discuss hairstyles for men with nicely shaped skulls but I could find nothing for those of us who carry about less than perfect orbs atop our shoulders. This is hugely discouraging as I have a poorly shaped skull. I still want to shave my head, just let the reality of my defect stand out, as I'm dubious that I'm fooling anyone anyway. No one I know is supportive of this measure; however, no one wants to see me grow the sides out in some ungainly gnarl à la Allen Ginsberg in his later years.
What to do, Daniel? I turn to you with barely-suppressed panic and ask if there's anything at all you can suggest for an imperfectly formed, bald guy to do with his remaining hair, or just his head in general?
Please help me. My message perhaps doesn't convey how my self-esteem has fallen, how miserably unhappy I am about my appearance.
My response to this wonderfully written and heartfelt letter is this: go ahead and shave your head if that's what you want to do, and don't concern yourself with what other people think. It's hard not to feel insecure about ourselves with the barrage of seemingly perfect guys that don the covers of men's fashion and health magazines. Turn on the television and it's the same thing. However, and I mean this, even the most "good looking" people I know have insecurities about themselves. We could beat ourselves up for not having a better body, being taller, or having a nicer fill in the blank. It's not worth it. Ultimately, being imperfect is perfect. I wallowed in insecurity for years over many things and what I realized is that it stopped me from actually living. I highly encourage you to embrace your imperfections and worry about the things you can control, like health, great relationships, being a snappy dresser and other things that might give you a little more spring in your step.
Here are more tips on dealing with hair loss from our men's hair expert.
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