Even though you are going through a quite difficult time in your married life, there is still something there to hold on to.
You want to prevent a divorce, but it seems the walls are closing in around you and neither one of you knows what to do.
How do you stay together when a marriage runs into difficulty? No matter why your marriage is in trouble, it can be saved.
You can work your way back away from the divorce court and into a happy, respectful and loving relationship.
There are some things everyone who is facing this marital struggle needs to do to stay married.
Here are some thoughts on how to prevent a divorce.
Memories The first thing you need to do is remember why you fell in love in the first place.
What was it about this person that attracted you? What were the qualities that you respected about your partner? Are these qualities and reasons you were attracted still there? Look deeply and beyond the hassles of daily life to find the friend and lover you married.
In all probability, that person is still inside your spouse, and the attraction is still there just waiting to be rekindled.
Play Together Another way to prevent a divorce is to do things together that you both love and that cause the playful spirit to come out in both of you.
Adult life can be hard.
Remembering how to play together is an important step to rekindling your love.
What were the things you did together when you were dating and when you first were married? Try doing some of those things together now.
Active Listening Try to listen closely to each other.
When problems and arguments pile up over the years, it becomes difficult to listen, to really hear the other.
Take time now to slow down, try to close out the rest of the world and talk to each other with open hearts and open ears.
Listen to why the other is hurting and express why you are.
However, do this with respect and not anger.
Try to put yourself in the other's shoes and feel what they are feeling.
These discussions are not about solving problems, but rather about hearing what the issues truly are.
Many times we think we know what the problems are when the true underlying issues are clouded and hidden.
If you seriously want to prevent a divorce, you have to listen to what those underlying issues are.
Forgive and Forget It is essential that you forgive all the hurts and indiscretions of your partner over the years.
If you have learned to authentically listen to each other, then forgiving your partner will be an easier task.
It is just as important to 'forget'.
You have to move on and leave the past in the past.
If you can do these things, then you will be able to prevent a divorce from destroying your family.