Earlier today I suffered from what is commonly known as "brain freeze," the temporary headache caused by drinking or eating something really cold, in my case a smoothie.
Worse than the actual pain the freeze causes is the feeling I get that I completely failed myself.
And, seriously, why did I buy a smoothie? Brain freeze is easily the most embarrassing pain there is because it is the most self-inflicted.
I am a grown man: I know that if I run into a street with busy traffic, I might get hit by a car.
If I jump out of a second-floor window, I may break a leg (and not because my performance was good).
If I yell at an old lady during Bingo, I might get slapped.
And yet somehow I haven't learned that when I drink something cold at a very quick pace, I will experience several seconds of severe headache.
I think it's my brain's way of saying, "What are you, an idiot?Seriously, didn't you learn from the last time?" The worst brain freeze occurs when it's the second occurrence in a ten-minute time span.
That's when the brain can say, "Again?Didn't we just go through this?Didn't you just yell out, 'Ah, never again!'Well, it happened again -- and are you happy now?" Sometimes I wonder if I can cancel out brain freeze by drinking something hot immediately afterwards, but by the time I get something hot, the headache is already gone.
I could prepare something hot ahead of time and then intentionally give myself brain freeze to test my theory, but I think my brain would be very unhappy about that: "It's one thing if it's an accident.
Heck, a smoothie really can be that good, but come on -- to do this on purpose?I don't think we're on the same page anymore.
" Even worse than brain freeze is what I am now calling "conversational brain freeze.
"I think a lot of people can connect to this one: getting brain freeze and then having someone try to start a conversation at the same time.
If the person who is initiating the conversation is really annoying, this only elevates the pain to an unbearable level.
Allow me to demonstrate: Person #1: Hey, how are you? [Person #2 receives brain freeze from drinking really cold lemonade] This weather is crazy, isn't it? Person #2: Ahh!Hold on.
Person #1: Hold on to what?I asked you about the weather?What could I possibly hold on to? Person #2: Ahh! The pain! Person #1: It's not even that hot out .
What pain?Elaborate please.
Give me a lot of details.
Person #2: Seriously, if you don't shut [Brain freeze goes away]...
the window, bugs might get in.
Person #1: Thank you, now I get your point.
I think I need to have a long talk -- or inner dialogue, at least -- with my brain.
I need to let it know that I'm not perfect.
There just might be a time when I will want to slap an old lady during Bingo...
But I digress.