At some point in time, we will all experience the loss of someone we love.  Who it is and when it happens are probably the only things we cannot control or know in advance.  The bigger tragedy is to lose many or all of them at one go, such as in an earthquake or horrific accident.  For most of us, we get through the whole experience in one piece but for many, it takes many, many years to finally come to terms with it. 

The first thing we must remember is that handling the loss of someone we love is never easy.  Even the word "handling" is not the best word to use in times like these because it gives the impression that it is an experience that we must master.  Indeed, as anyone who has gone through the whole experience of grief knows, the feeling is not something that can be understood, much less mastered.  Probably a better word would be "dealing" as this carries the connotation of having to live with the feeling for awhile, rather than mastering it.

Experiencing the death of a loved one we will go through the following stages whatever the manner of death. These may not occur in the exact order as given for everyone.
-    Shock
-    Denial
-    Emotional release
-    Depression, loneliness or a sense of being alone
-    Feelings of panic
-    Guilt
-    Anger or rage
-    Hope
-    Acceptance as we adjust our lives to reality

The manifestation of these feelings may be displayed as:
-    Bodily symptoms showing despair like fidgeting, constant anxiety, sleeplessness, nightmares, weepiness and sporadic mental disorientation.
-    Normal routine activities cannot be performed.

In situations where the mourning individual has no support, extreme behaviors like antisocial hostility, suicidal or homicidal tendencies and behavior may occur. But this is not the normal way of dealing with the loss. 

It is possible that any one of these emotions may be experienced more than once; feelings of anger and rage, for example, may disappear and be replaced by acceptance, only to come back again at a later stage.  This is why the process of going through grief is different from one individual to another. 

Emotions may also come in doubles like feelings of guilt and anger being bundled up at the same time. This is very difficult to bear and cannot be handled by the person himself. This will require efficient professional attention to deal with.

People that have walked the rough road have the opinion that only time and support helped them to move along and get going. Time is required to go through the emotions one at a time or combined, to accept them and to deal with them. Support is the backbone to a better life. Only with dear friends and family around can one make living possible. Support should be essentially of two types. Emotionally, with understanding people around to hear you out or to just hold your hand when you need them and Physically, one needs caring people around them to support them in their daily chores of housekeeping, paying bills etc.. which have become difficult to perform.

Don't give up. Allow yourself adequate time to accept the death of your loved one. The sad event is itself a heartbreaking incident and now moving on in life without your loved ones presence is the topping you would not desire for. Many people consciously avoid doing things that they enjoyed doing together before the death. Some even go to the extent of dropping the habit forever, like having tea at a particular place or time, to avoid memories from overwhelming them.

It is no wonder then that there are many who buckle under the pressure of losing someone they love.  This is where professional help comes in.  We must never believe that seeing a therapist, psychologist or psychiatrist for ourselves or someone we love is a sign of weakness.  Instead, we should see it as an alternative route to healing from grief.

A hot temper with boiling anger welling inside could lead to displays of violent behavior causing harm to people around. During such incidents it is always felt that professional help would be worth seeking for to help dissipate the internal agony and to learn means to manage such situations.

Coping with the loss of someone dear is no easy task.  It is a high investment of time, energy and will that normally pays off in the end in complete healing from grief.