Have a Plan

• Get the family together and talk to your parents about their wishes and desires. If Mom or Dad needs help now and you have not made previous arrangements with them, it is important to get the family together and make a plan. Once you know where you are headed it is important to get the necessary items in place. Have a living wills, medical power of attorneys and financial power of attorneys in place as soon as possible--preferably before they are needed. Know where your parent keep important papers such as insurance policies, deeds and titles. Know the names of your parents' doctors, and have access to their health insurance, health history and lists of medications they are taking. The more advance preparation you can do, the easier it will be for you to do what you must to take care of your parents when the time comes.
  
  

Your Parents' Needs

• When you start helping take care of your parents, what they don't need is just as as important as what they do. It is important to assess your parents' needs and make sure they are getting all the help they need with bathing, dressing, cooking, grocery shopping, laundry, housekeeping and other tasks. It also is important to determine what activities your parents can take care of for themselves. Respecting your parents' independence is just as important as helping them when they need it. Let your parents make their own decisions as much as possible, and be honest when talking with your parents about their concerns and yours.
  
  

Your Needs

• Don't forget to take care of yourself while you are taking care of your parents. Make sure you take the time to participate in activities that you find enjoyable. When you feel like you need a break, take one. Be honest with yourself, your parents and other family members when assessing what you can and can't do for your parents. It is also important to be realistic about how much help the rest of your family can provide. Your sister who lives on the other side of the country clearly won't be able to help often and life will be easier for everyone if you and your sister accept this. If you find that your parents need more care than you and your siblings can provide, don't hesitate to contact your local agency on aging or other organizations for help.