Our elder is high functioning but that does not make conversations with her easier.
There are many minefields that we have to avoid.
Mentioning some subjects is unwise and for the most part correcting her is going to lead to a meltdown.
We've learned the hard way.
Positive: We all handle positive statements much better than negative.
When getting chewed out for something we didn't do that is difficult.
Redirection is the best way out of this, especially if there isn't a grain of truth in the complaint.
Supportive: While we know that the caregivers are giving our elder a lot more care than she realizes, she does complain about them not coming when she calls them.
Her problem in this is time distortion.
We can validate there is a problem without telling her about the distortion.
The caregivers are all right with this, especially since they know we are aware of the problem.
Simple: A complicated problem or story is too hard for our elder to follow.
She gets lost if the discussion is about my relatives, especially those she hasn't met.
Most of my family is far from where we live.
We keep comments and problems simple so she can follow the conversation.
Suggest: There are times when she stumbles for a word.
Many times we can figure it out through context and suggest what she might be searching for.
If done quietly so as not to embarrass her, she appreciates it and can go back to finishing her sentence.
Validation and Redirection: This has already been mentioned and it is the key to conversing with a dementia patient.
If there is any part of a disruptive comment that can be validated, use it.
Then, redirect the conversation to something positive.
One of the best ways we can do that is by bringing up her great grandchildren.
It is very easy to write tips on having a conversation with a dementia patient.
It is not easy to actually have the conversation.
That doesn't mean we should avoid them.
It just means we need to take a little more care about the words we choose.