I walked through the church doors at approximately 10:45 A.
M, my first time in four years entering a church since being dragged to Mass with my step mom.
The greeter at the door approached me with hesitation and disbelief.
"May I help you?" She snarled.
"Yes I am here for the 11 o'clock service.
" I softly whispered.
"Are you a Christian child?" She asked judgingly me while handing me a church bulletin.
"Well no not really.
I am coming here to learn more about it.
" "Good cause" she looked me up and down "you need Him.
Go through those doors there into the sanctuary.
The ushers will seat you.
" As I walked towards the sanctuary I overheard church members whisper: "She can't be a Christian.
Not with all those tattoos.
" "Where does she think she's going?" "Red hair? Who dyes their hair red unless they are working for the devil?" "Doesn't she know this is holy ground?" "How rude of her to come into the house of the Lord dressed like that.
Doesn't she know God will judge her harshly for looking like a floozy?" Trying my hardest to ignore the glares and remarks, I made my way into the sanctuary.
I waited my turn in line to be seated only to hear snickering coming from behind me.
The usher took one glance at me and rushed to my aide.
Smiling he said, "Hello there.
Welcome to Christ's Church.
Is this your first time visiting?" "Yes.
" "I am Leon, one of the deacons here.
Nice to meet you.
" He stuck out his hand for mine.
I obliged.
"What brings you in?" He asked making small conversation.
"I have a desire to know who God really is and was just checking out Christianity for the moment.
This was the closet church to my house so I figure I'd come see what it was all about.
" "I see.
Well you are in the right place to learn the truth.
Pastor is a powerful speaker and preaches the uncompromising truth from the Word of God.
You are in for a treat.
" I nodded.
"Let me show you to your seat.
" Thinking he was sending me upstairs to sit in the balcony, he walked down the aisle of the church and sat me right in the front row! "Here you are uh..
I'm sorry I didn't catch your name?" "Alcatraz.
" "Alcatraz.
That's different.
Are you named after the prison?" "Yeah I guess you could say that.
The name suits me.
" Looking me dead in the eyes he retorted, "You won't be in captivity too much longer.
" "What does that mean?" I asked.
"You enjoy the service now.
It was nice meeting you.
" Leon gestured me to take my seat before walking up the aisle.
"Why does she get to sit in the front?" "I've been in this church for twenty years and never sat me up front.
" "They must be sleeping together.
" "She's probably the girl carrying his baby.
You know they said he got a young girl knocked up.
" Thankfully I didn't have to listen to the slander much longer cause the service started.
The pastor walked up to the pulpit after the choir sang a few songs.
He was a thin, tanned man wearing a brown leather jacket and blue jeans.
He prayed over the congregation then told us to greet one another before taking our seats.
I turned to my left to find no one available to greet me.
Same with the right side.
Everyone engaged in their own little cliques.
They all hugged who they knew and liked.
And I obviously wasn't included so I decided to take my seat and greet no one.
As I was about to sit down a man jumped in front of me.
"Good morning.
How are you?" It was the pastor! This man jumped from behind the pulpit to greet me! "Fine.
" I stuttered.
"What is your name?" He asked me.
"Alcatraz.
" I felt uneasiness with him for he had this power emanating so strong I almost had to sit down before I passed out.
"I am Pastor Gregory Prince.
Nice to meet you.
Is this your first time visiting Christ Church?" "Yeah.
I'm just curious.
I never been to this kind of church before.
I'm trying on different things to see what fits me.
" He smiled.
"Well I thank you for trying us on.
" He gave me a hug then stared at me with the most piercing gaze I'd ever experienced.
I felt like he was looking past my red hair, tattooed and pierced body, skull necklaces, black ripped tiny tee straight into my heart where torment, pain and questions made their home.
Without realizing it tears filled the crevice of my eyes and I started crying.
"I can't believe this!" "Me neither.
Did she just get a welcome from the pastor?" "I've been here fifteen years and have yet to meet the man but he gets off the stage for a red head tattooed slut?" "This is for sure my last Sunday here!" Getting aggravated by all the petty slander I reached in my bag, pulled out my skull cap along with my sunglasses and sat in the front row incognito.
"Jesus came to this Earth for you.
No matter where you've been or what you've done, there is nothing that can separate you from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus.
He did not come into this world to condemn you, or judge you or reject you but to love you.
You are prized by God.
Accepted by God.
Valued by God.
Every aspect of your life is important to Him.
You are His treasure.
His Lost Pearl worthy of Him coming to Earth down from Heaven to find.
" His words jolted every cell in my body! I had never saw myself as valuable or lovable.
In fact with all the crap that has happened to me in my short fifteen years of being on this Earth I wouldn't be surprised if God was trying his hardest to keep His distance from me.
I didn't take the walk down the aisle to receive Jesus as my Savior but I did leave the service with a lighter heart.
As I pondered Pastor's last words, "Jesus is the visible image of the invisible God.
All that is came through Him.
To know Him is to know God.
And to know God is to know true love," my heart became more lighter.
I don't know.
I am not entirely sold on Christianity yet but one thing I notice: the love of God message is not taught in my friend, Josh's, Buddhist temple!