Raising a teenager can be something akin to tiptoeing through a minefield.
Put one foot wrong and life explodes! So how do you stay safe and sane through the teen years? Here are ten tips to help you negotiate your way safely through the minefield that is life with a teenager.

1. There is safety in unity as well as strength.
   Mom and Dad need to present a united front when making decisions, setting boundaries or imposing discipline.
   It helps to discuss beforehand some of the issues that are likely to arise.
   These could include things like suitable curfew times, rules about sleeping over with friends, homework and helping around the house.
   Communicate these clearly to your teen and ensure he or she understands that you both subscribe to the same rules.
   This is particularly important when parents are divorced and teens visit alternate homes at different times.
   Knowing that the rules are the same in both homes prevents the possibility of manipulation and removes any potential for conflict.
   
2. When making decisions consider what reasons there might be to say 'no' or 'yes'.
   So many parents are inclined to decide at whim and follow with "Because I said so...
   " when the teen queries the decision.
   Decision-making is something we model and it's important to use these opportunities to encourage your teens to understand the principles of sound decision making themselves.
   And don't renege on your responsibilities by always saying 'no'.
   Saying no to everything just promotes rebellion.
   So unless there is a good reason to say no, don't! And if there is a good reason,make sure your teen understands what that is.
   
3. Don't vacillate once you have made a decision.
   Teens are master manipulators and will try to negotiate their way around any decision they deem to be unfavorable.
   While it's tough standing your ground initially, once they understand that you usually stand by your decisions, they will eventually give up trying to wear you down.
   
4. While it's important to have clear rules and boundaries, it's equally important not to impose too many.
   Allow your teens to have reasonable and age appropriate freedom to make their own choices, and remember to adjust the boundaries as they get older and show themselves to be making sound choices.
   
5. Responsibility goes hand in hand with freedom and as your teen moves towards adulthood, he or she needs to take on some adult responsibilities around the house.
   So make sure they have some part to play in running the household, whether it be cleaning their room, sorting the laundry or cooking a meal once a week.
   
6. Never allow your teen to ambush you into making a spur of the moment decision on major issues.
   This is a favorite technique of teens who think that if they pressure you into making a quick decision you will let them have their way.
   Make sure your teen knows that you need a little time to think and perhaps consult your spouse and that you will get back to them with a decision once you have done so.
   
7. Take an interest in your teen's life, but do so in a way that is not overwhelming for them.
   Listen to their music sometimes (without being overly critical of it) and chat about what movies or fashions they currently like.
   This one is a tricky balancing act, because your teen will value his or her private space, so don't overdo things.
   
8. Treat your teen to some one on one time occasionally when you go out to a movie or a pizza, or just do some shopping together (for something he or she wants,not for your stuff).
   This is also a great way to chat in a non threatening way about what's going on in your teen's life.
   
9. Be proactive about encouraging your teen to mix with the right people.
   Suggest they join a youth group or sports club where you know there are young people with the right outlook on life and support their interests in these activities.
   Having friends who are a positive influence can go a long way to counteracting the effects of negative peer pressure from others.
   
10. Don't be afraid to be vulnerable in front of your teen.
    Admit your mistakes and say sorry when you need to.
    And be open to allowing your teen to share his or her opinion with you, even if it might be to say " I didn't like what you did.
    " This will encourage your teen to be open and vulnerable to you too and is a great aid to effective communication.
    Teens have so much pressure to deal with, that it is encouraging to them to discover that Mom and Dad also get things wrong sometimes.