About.com Rating

In 2010, Dutch writer-director Tom Six took a simple, creative but vile concept -- a mad scientist surgically connecting three captive patients mouth-to-anus -- and made the unexpectedly entertaining The Human Centipede, a film that became a cultural touchstone, even if most people who knew of it probably had never seen it. Now, five years and a mediocre sequel later, he's unleashing a second sequel that, if we're to believe the subtitle Final Sequence, mercifully puts an end to an exploitive franchise that has delivered exponentially diminishing returns.

The Plot

Struggling to earn the respect of his inmates, sadistic prison warden Bill Boss (Dieter Laser) has tried a variety of physically abusive tactics to keep the convicts in line with little success. The governor disapproves of his violent actions and threatens to shut him down, so he and his assistant Dwight (Laurence R. Harvey) come up with a drastic, experimental strategy aimed at not only earning respect, but also reducing prisoner violence, legal and medical costs and personnel turnover. They draw inspiration from an unlikely source: the Human Centipede movies.

The End Result

There's nothing sadder than a movie that tries so hard and yet fails so miserably. As stated in its tagline "100% politically incorrect," Human Centipede 3 desperately wants to make an edgy statement about social mores, government corruption, American excess and the US prison system, but any message is drowned in a sea of bodily fluids and hate.

It's laughably inept satire (meaning it's not at all laughable) that frankly could be interpreted as endorsing the things it's presumably mocking.

It could take a lesson or 12 from a show like South Park that manages to tackle thorny subjects with wit, smarts and edge tempered with some level of self-restraint. HC3, on the other hand, sledgehammers everything home, leaving subtlety in a ditch to die (Someone actually utters the line, "Please don't sew me into a human centipede!") while seemingly trotting out every offensive topic that comes to mind, regardless of whether it serves any purpose in the story. Racism and misogyny abound, and the script even manages to poke fun at rape and female genital mutilation. Hilarious!

Its over-the-top antics come off as not only cartoonish (which could be OK) but amateurish, like an extended late night show skit, with 10 minutes of plot excruciatingly drawn out over an hour and a half. (It takes 40 minutes for Dwight just to tell Boss about his human centipede idea.) Just as painful is the acting -- particularly Laser, who screams every line, making it uncomfortable on the ears AND the eyes, as it seems he'll pop a blood vessel in his temple at any moment.

Speaking of uncomfortable on the eyes, that's really the crux of the entire franchise, and in that sense, HC3 delivers -- although not in the manner you'd expect. The actual human centipede scenes, which account for no more than five minutes of screen time, are tame in comparison to the scenes of prison violence, including perhaps the most graphic cinematic castration I've ever seen. (Unfortunately, I've witnessed quite a few.) And while not gory, the human centipede operation scene exposes more orifices that I thought was legal in a non-porno. Are we having fun yet?

It's one thing to be gross and crude; it's another to do it in such a sloppy, hateful and pointless manner. It's disappointing because there actually is an interesting concept here that's ripe for parody, but Six should take a hint from the American XXL attitude he's skewering: less is more.

The Skinny

• Acting: F (You know the performances are bad when the porn star is the best actor.)
• Direction: D (Unsubtle, uninspired, uninteresting.)
• Script: F (Mean-spirited, unfunny, poorly executed satire.)
• Gore/Effects: B- (Ample gore, solid execution.)
• Overall: D- (A franchise that started out fresh, provocative and buzz-worthy ends on a tired, desperate note.)

The Human Centipede 3 (Final Sequence) is directed by Tom Six and is not rated by the MPAA. Release date: May 22, 2015 (in theaters/on demand).

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