I was once asked me the following question.
"If you gave a two-minute "elevator pitch" counseling session to someone who needed encouragement during a hard time in their life, what would you say?" My answer was quick and to the point.
I would ask the disturbed and disgruntled person, "If you had a magic want that could instantly and permanently eliminate this problem or hardship, how would you feel and what would your life look like?" When I ask a currently upset person this simple question they are often startled and taken aback.
Many of us are so familiar with the pain and the struggle.
Some of us actually almost enjoy our unique suffering as we relay our tales of woe to whoever is willing to listen.
There is something so familiar and so comfortable about life's problems.
We can blame away our own insecurities.
We can point a finger at the selfish, inconsiderate, unfair, demanding and exploitative person or persons who have upset us.
We can obsess over what it would take for the other person to change in order to please us.
We can turn our own selves inside out, allowing our mind to churn over and over about what we must have done wrong to receive such poor treatment.
When I offer my clients a way out of their suffering, a vision of their own power through the use of an imaginary magic wand, man of them insist on making excuses.
They don't really want to solve and resolve their problems.
They also don't want to have to take responsibility for handling their problems.
Many of us are much more comfortable complaining about our external problems, rather than actually taking actions to create change.
Many of us prefer the sense that there are forces beyond our control, that we are just a victim of circumstances.
If we were to feel that there is a way out, that we will have to take steps to discover the way out, it becomes a burden and something we don't really want to undertake.
There is a song entitled: "The Only Way Out is Through.
" Painful situations are like that.
Usually, the best way to get out of the situation is to get deeply into it, develop a strong sense and belief in what is possible, to confront the situation head on, and then to take steps to move away.
The first step is to recognize that there is a problem.
The next step is to evaluate the situation, looking at the roles played by everyone involved, including yourself.
Next comes the vision, seeing the situation the way you really would like it to be (the magic wand effect).
And finally, action is required to either alter the current situation or extricate yourself from it and move on.