My father wasn't living with me when I received a call from the California Highway Patrol to come pick him up because he had just totalled his car on the freeway by merging into a semi.
Luckily no one was hurt...
and he told me that the semi had merged into him.
It wasn't until later that I learned the contents of the police report contradicted his beliefs regarding the accident.
(He still thinks that the truck was at fault.
) He went on to buy another car and managed not to crash it.
When he moved to Idaho to live with me, he gave that one to my sister and I gave a sigh of relief.
With his dementia and his lower extremity neuropathy, I knew that he should not be driving.
But, lo and behold, when I was work one day, he ordered a truck and had it delivered! It was a used truck and an eager salesman brought it out to the house for a test drive.
My father purchased it there and then, for way too much money.
As you might guess, it was just after that that I filed for guardianship.
But receiving guardianship does not wash away all problems.
Saying "No" to things often causes a lot of turmoil so creative thinking is required at these times.
There are many reasons that our elders may need to curtail their driving; dementia is just one.
Other reasons are slowed reaction times, decreased vision and hearing, diabetes, certain medications that have been prescribed, transient ischemic attacks (mini-strokes) and several other problems that can occur with aging.
When a person can no longer drive, they feel a huge loss of independence.
But sometimes that loss is necessary in order to protect the loved one and other possible innocent victims.
If you feel that your parent or loved one should no longer be driving, here are a few things that you might try if simple reasoning with them has not worked.
Speak with their physician and relate your concerns.
Doctors are not uncomfortable taking "the bad guy/gal" role and elders will often give more credence to what their physician says than to what a care giver says.
Consult your local "Area on Aging".
They often have access to an occupational therapist who will obtain a prescription for a driver's evaluation.
If an elder does not pass, these results will be forwarded to the Department of Motor Vehicles who will then void their driver's license.
There is also an organization called Keeping Us Safe which provides education programs across the country and senior driver assessments to individuals.
You can find them at http://KeepingUsSafe.
org If your parent or loved one has dementia, consult their Alzheimer's specialist who will counsel them or order a driving evaluation.
If these things fail, desperate action may be required.
Distraction is helpful.
Asking a question such as "Could you just help me plant these tulip bulbs first" might work; keys can be hidden (although that doesn't work for long); certain parts of engines can be dismantled; cars can be taken "to the shop" for inspection and "the problem may be bigger than we thought".
If your aging parent or loved one doesn't live with you, be sure to take into consideration that they will still need transportation to doctor's visits, social events and to run errands.
Arrangements must be made so that the senior does not feel abandoned and isolated or compelled to attempt to drive again.