No one is an island and no relationship exists outside the context of your community.
Which is good! Because your community just promised to support you and your marriage.
Marriage is a wonderful thing.
But it's actually quite difficult.
Life is hard enough.
It's true there are some things that are far easier to go through with a partner.
But sometimes, if you haven't learned to partner one another in the way you need for this incident, it can be quite frustrating.
Solo can look simple! What's most damaging to marriages, I think, is to assume that they come already equipped to deal with problems.
As if at the moment the spiritual union happens, there's some Vulcan mind-meld that occurs and you think well together.
Or if it's a legal union, something about the officiant's signing of the documents will make marriage flow forever smoothly.
You bring the best that is in you to your marriage.
It's easy to get tripped up, however, when you can't talk about the things you don't do well and where you will find the support you need.
Studies have shown us, that talking a problem to death doesn't make it better.
We tend to get better when we behave well and we have positive reinforcement.
But still it's helpful to know where the weak spots are in your marriage.
Do you not plan for finances well? Do you not handle medical crises well?Well, someone can help you get better at this.
And someone else can help support you in these areas.
Wedding vows work better and are easier to keep when you identify your areas that need support and figure out where you're going to find that support.
So, when you're totting up strengths and values and beliefs, notice the places that you either might do things better or learn skills to reinforce the weak spots.
After all, if you were actually getting in a boat to sail around the world (as opposed to using this as your metaphor) you would check out and find solutions for the week spots.
You don't leave port with a leak.
Why would you set out on the most important journey in your life without a plan to fix the problems? Your wedding vows are the heart of your wedding ceremony.
More importantly they are the blue print for your marriage.
Make sure the ship is water-worthy.
You don't want to sink coming out of dry dock! You don't want to sink at all.
You want to succeed wildly at marriage.
As well you should.
No one's relationship deserves that any more than yours!