Card Etiquette for Wedding Invitation Responses
- The invitation should contain the essential information about the wedding and the reception:
day, date, location, time, suggested dress code. It should have the name of the invited guest or guests on it as well. If the invitee is single, but allowed to bring a date, the words "And guest" should be printed next to his name on the invitation (but never on the external envelope, as this looks unprofessional). If "And guest" does not appear explicitly on the invitation, plan to go alone; it is bad manners to turn up at a wedding with an uninvited date.
The invitations should be sent out far enough in advance of the wedding date to enable people to reserve that day to attend the wedding, ideally, at least six months in advance but no less than eight weeks in advance. If this is not possible, the engaged couple can opt for less formal invitations, such as ones printed on their home computer. - All invitations, no matter when they are sent or how formal, should include a reply card and stamped, pre-addressed envelope to mail the reply back to the bride and groom or the organizer of the wedding (for instance, the bride's family). It should state a date by which to reply.
Replying in a timely manner is essential for helping the organizers finalize the arrangements for the day, such as seating required at the venue, the reception, and so on. Remember also that the couple will have to pay a per-person deposit for the reception in most instances, so they need to know their numbers as soon as possible once the invitations are issued. - If you are replying yes, make sure you indicate yes clearly on the card. If you are bringing a guest, make sure you indicate his name. If you are a couple or family who has received the invitation and someone is not able to attend, indicate the total number of attendees and their names, writing them clearly on the back if need be (to help with formal seating arrangements, for instance, which might include name cards at the reception table).
Make sure you note the date on your calendar, and paper clip the invitation to the page to keep it in a safe place. If you are bringing a guest, invite her as soon as you receive the invitation, and remind her to note the date down on her calendar as well. - If you do not plan to attend, make sure you inform the organizers in a timely manner. Do not let the reply card and envelope sit around unmailed. Be sure that your name is written clearly on the card.
- If no reply card and envelope are included, get a blank card or piece of nice stationery and write:
Your name
The name of your guest or any other family members invited
____Accepts with pleasure
____Declines with regrets
Mail your reply to the address indicated from which the invitation was sent. It should be on the top right corner or the back flap of the envelope the invitation was mailed in. If no return address is indicated, mail your reply to the bride, if you know the address, or to the groom if you do not. If you have neither address, you might wish to telephone your reply to the bride or groom as appropriate. - If you have already sent the card in, but any circumstances change, such as you not being able to attend, or your guest cancelling, send a follow-up message in writing as soon as possible, or telephone the bride or groom to let them know so they can inform the caterers.
Wedding Invitation Basics: The Invitation
Wedding Invitation Basics: The Reply Card and Envelope
Wedding Invitation Reply Card Etiquette: Replying Yes
Wedding Invitation Reply Card Etiquette: Replying No
What To Do if No Reply Card and Envelope are Included with the Invitation
Wedding Invitation Etiquette: If Circumstances Change
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