Having worked on the caregiver side of this arrangement I have some experience in what the family can do for elderly members needing care.
Some of it is simple, but not necessarily easy.
Visit: Even if you don't think your elder will remember you visiting or not it helps.
Many of our elders are more with it than we think.
The caregivers can talk about your most recent visit to help keep them from depression.
Volunteer: It doesn't have to be big.
Anything from providing party favors for a Valentine's dinner to doing an Easter service are welcome.
Sometimes caregivers will do things out of their own pockets just to make life better for their patients.
They don't get paid a lot, so when we volunteer we are making a difference.
Learn Coping Skills: This is difficult and it may take time before you get good at it, but learning how to validate and redirect during a visit will be enormously welcome.
A change in routine can cause an elder to act up since they don't know what is going on.
Having a loving family member say, "You know, that's true...
" and then change the subject to a more pleasant one means more than having a caregiver do it.
Back Up As Needed: There may be a time when you'll need to back up the caregivers.
As an example, our elder gets into all kinds of trouble if she has anything sharp, including safety scissors.
The caregivers have to take them away as soon as they are discovered.
They are right to do so and we have to back them on it.
Give a Full Medical Report: Some facilities have the doctors go to them rather than the patient to a doctor's office.
In our case, we drive our elder to her medical appointments.
On top of the orders written by the doctor it is important to tell the staff what was said, especially if there's a change in any of her medical conditions.
Words on paper can only convey so much information.
The spoken word can do more.
Our elder's caregivers are great.
They work with her, they don't get angry and they are professionals.
Helping them is well worth any time spent.