Obamanopoly, The Exciting New Board Game
Introducing Obamanopoly, the hopeful new board game that is sweeping forty-seven percent of the nation like a superstorm.
It slightly resembles other property trading board games but with different financial regulatory reforms.
It accommodates anywhere from two to three hundred and twenty million players.
A free copy of the game can be picked up locally at any welfare office.
The object of Obamanopoly is to become the wealthiest player through cheating and intimidation while convincing the other players that your wealth is actually in their best interest.
The game begins when the first player rolls the dice and moves the game piece the appropriate number of spaces.
Minorities go first and white male construction workers are automatically disqualified from playing.
Game pieces include a boot pressing down on a neck, an abandoned oil rig, a donkey, a smart car, a neutered elephant, a replica of Air Force One, a solar panel, a section of crumbling infrastructure and a stalk of celery.
Cannons and battleships are considered assault weapons and therefore aren't allowed.
If you land on another player's piece of property and owe rent you will then be means-tested.
The rent will range anywhere from $10 to $5,000 depending on your current assets and level of income from the previous turn.
If you do not have the money to pay the rent when you land on someone else's property you will be bailed out by collecting half of the needed funds from the other players.
That amount will then be matched by funds borrowed from the bank which you will never have to pay back.
If the bank runs out of money it will simply grab a few $100,000 bills from the game of Life and play continues.
There is no need for chance cards or community chest cards that are used in other familiar games.
You took your chances when you agreed to play and it is now understood that all assets are community property anyway.
If you don't like the rules you will be sent directly to jail and you money and assets will be seized and divided among the remaining players.
Whoever is chosen as banker has the authority to rewrite the rules at any time to benefit the player of their choice, including themselves.
And how do you win the game of Obamanopoly? Whoever was initially selected to be the banker naturally wins every time.
It slightly resembles other property trading board games but with different financial regulatory reforms.
It accommodates anywhere from two to three hundred and twenty million players.
A free copy of the game can be picked up locally at any welfare office.
The object of Obamanopoly is to become the wealthiest player through cheating and intimidation while convincing the other players that your wealth is actually in their best interest.
The game begins when the first player rolls the dice and moves the game piece the appropriate number of spaces.
Minorities go first and white male construction workers are automatically disqualified from playing.
Game pieces include a boot pressing down on a neck, an abandoned oil rig, a donkey, a smart car, a neutered elephant, a replica of Air Force One, a solar panel, a section of crumbling infrastructure and a stalk of celery.
Cannons and battleships are considered assault weapons and therefore aren't allowed.
If you land on another player's piece of property and owe rent you will then be means-tested.
The rent will range anywhere from $10 to $5,000 depending on your current assets and level of income from the previous turn.
If you do not have the money to pay the rent when you land on someone else's property you will be bailed out by collecting half of the needed funds from the other players.
That amount will then be matched by funds borrowed from the bank which you will never have to pay back.
If the bank runs out of money it will simply grab a few $100,000 bills from the game of Life and play continues.
There is no need for chance cards or community chest cards that are used in other familiar games.
You took your chances when you agreed to play and it is now understood that all assets are community property anyway.
If you don't like the rules you will be sent directly to jail and you money and assets will be seized and divided among the remaining players.
Whoever is chosen as banker has the authority to rewrite the rules at any time to benefit the player of their choice, including themselves.
And how do you win the game of Obamanopoly? Whoever was initially selected to be the banker naturally wins every time.
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