Decoding Alzheimer"s Questions
Why do people with Alzheimer's keep asking the same question over and over? Or make the same comment? Tell the same story? Well, of course, they have Alzheimer's.
They don't remember.
That's one reason.
But also beneath the disease is a real person struggling to talk to us.
No matter what your state of dementia, you are never NOT the person whose life you lived.
You suffered what you suffered.
You had joys you had.
Whatever was your life, it shaped you and it lives within you.
No matter what the degree of brain deterioration, who you were can and will still emerge.
All research on people with Alzheimer's shows that, however broken their short-term memory is, even profoundly-affected people may still have reliable access to long-term memory.
It is usually the past which fuels those annoying repetitions.
People say the same thing over and over because they want to be heard.
Unsatisfied emotional longing within pushes the person to repeat the same words over and over.
For caregivers, the struggle is in how to answer questions in a way that isn't negative.
After all, most of the people in those questions are dead.
I would suggest you get them talking about those people.
The real issue is not that they are dead.
It is that this live person misses those dead people so much.
Those dead people -- your grandfather, your great-aunt, the dog Spot -- gave emotional love and security that your person is now lacking.
Not because you, as a caregiver, fail to give it.
Because having Alzheimer's strips away any sense of emotional security.
Think of all the disease takes away.
It steals memory, routine, ability, hobbies.
It steals your life.
The only thing a person has left for sure is whoever still lives on in longterm memory.
That is why there are all those references to dead people as if they still lived, or might be living.
The repetition is a mixture of illness symptoms and emotional needs.
Take a look at these typical questions.
Ten Typical Repetitive Questions: 1.
When is my mother coming to dinner? 2.
Is Daddy home yet? 3.
Where is Spot? 4.
Do I have any money? 5.
Do I live here? 6.
Can I go home now? 7.
Did Mama go out? 8.
Did you go to work today? 9.
Who are you? 10.
Why am I here? All over the world right now, people with Alzheimer's are asking these questions.
In English, Hindi, Chinese and every other language known to humankind.
It's not just in your house.
So, next time your person starts in with it, think about all those other brave and dutiful caregivers.
Every one of you is asking him or her self, "What the heck am I supposed to say to this?" Take a look at my article, "Ten Alzheimer's Questions", for some ideas.
They don't remember.
That's one reason.
But also beneath the disease is a real person struggling to talk to us.
No matter what your state of dementia, you are never NOT the person whose life you lived.
You suffered what you suffered.
You had joys you had.
Whatever was your life, it shaped you and it lives within you.
No matter what the degree of brain deterioration, who you were can and will still emerge.
All research on people with Alzheimer's shows that, however broken their short-term memory is, even profoundly-affected people may still have reliable access to long-term memory.
It is usually the past which fuels those annoying repetitions.
People say the same thing over and over because they want to be heard.
Unsatisfied emotional longing within pushes the person to repeat the same words over and over.
For caregivers, the struggle is in how to answer questions in a way that isn't negative.
After all, most of the people in those questions are dead.
I would suggest you get them talking about those people.
The real issue is not that they are dead.
It is that this live person misses those dead people so much.
Those dead people -- your grandfather, your great-aunt, the dog Spot -- gave emotional love and security that your person is now lacking.
Not because you, as a caregiver, fail to give it.
Because having Alzheimer's strips away any sense of emotional security.
Think of all the disease takes away.
It steals memory, routine, ability, hobbies.
It steals your life.
The only thing a person has left for sure is whoever still lives on in longterm memory.
That is why there are all those references to dead people as if they still lived, or might be living.
The repetition is a mixture of illness symptoms and emotional needs.
Take a look at these typical questions.
Ten Typical Repetitive Questions: 1.
When is my mother coming to dinner? 2.
Is Daddy home yet? 3.
Where is Spot? 4.
Do I have any money? 5.
Do I live here? 6.
Can I go home now? 7.
Did Mama go out? 8.
Did you go to work today? 9.
Who are you? 10.
Why am I here? All over the world right now, people with Alzheimer's are asking these questions.
In English, Hindi, Chinese and every other language known to humankind.
It's not just in your house.
So, next time your person starts in with it, think about all those other brave and dutiful caregivers.
Every one of you is asking him or her self, "What the heck am I supposed to say to this?" Take a look at my article, "Ten Alzheimer's Questions", for some ideas.
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