Do you remember how much you used to be in love? Now, you wake up in the morning and wonder how in the world this is the same person.
Unfortunately, when we live with someone we begin to see what they are REALLY like.
And the picture isn't pretty sometimes.
So how do you get the love back in your life? Any marriage is bound to have its ups and downs.
Marriage trouble signs are never easy to identify or quantify.
Every situation is different.
Many couples go through a state of denial even though it's pretty obvious their marriage is in trouble.
Disagreement is only natural when two people decide to "co habitate" under one roof.
When it happens ALL the time, you need to get some help.
Counseling is often necessary when trying to figure out how to save a marriage in crisis.
If you can't even talk about things on your own it's time to get some counseling.
Obviously, arguing constantly is counterproductive.
If anything, yelling and screaming pushes your relationship to the brink even quicker.
Skilled marriage counselors know how to help both of you express yourselves without attacking each other.
Sometimes, we need a third party to help us see how destructive our own behavior or habits have become.
Marriage counseling forces both parties to look at themselves and finally live up to our faults.
It helps you "walk in the persons shoes" and see how they are feeling.
You will never understand each other until you get to that point.
You can't fix your marriage until both of you are willing to swallow your pride and admit you are wrong.
Getting the right perspective on what is happening is absolutely critical as well.
This is one area that a marriage counselor will be helpful because it will help you to look at things and situations from the other persons perspective.
You may think you are right and be unwilling to compromise or give up any ground.
The issue becomes more important than the relationship.
Successful marriages involve give and take.
IF you can't give any more, it's time to get help! Ask yourself these questions: Do I really need to be right about this situation? Can we find a way to work through this together? Am I allowing my pride to interfere with the process? Once you start looking at those things the situation can change pretty drastically.
Once you have been able to get some perspective on the crisis at hand and are getting counseling, you will have a lot of information and ideas to go off of.
Just remember, there is absolutely no point in trying counseling if both of you are not totally committed to the process.
What's the point of paying someone for counseling if you aren't willing to give their recommendations and ideas a chance? Knowledge and a new perspective will make a difference in your relation only if it is acted upon.
Generally, you don't need others helping you to discover if my marriage is in trouble.
It just takes you acting upon it and getting resolved the issues that were killing your marriage.
No one is going to hold your hand.
The decisions that you make now and the effort you putting into saving your marriage have long lasting effects.
A marriage in crisis can only be saved if you act to make things better.