Does He Belong in the 68% of Men Who Say Yes Just to Avoid Conflict?
According to a recent survey conducted by Creative Conflict Resolutions, which tested more than 900 men using an online questionnaire, 68% of the men surveyed said that they prefer to say "yes" and back down to avoid confrontation.
How do you know if your partner is one of these men? You may not be able to track down his internet history, or even what his result was, but there are some clues you can use to tell whether your partner is avoiding conflict by just saying "yes.
" If you're mentally counting how many times your partner had said "yes" in the last week, stop for a moment.
When we say "yes," there are some thing included that you may not think about.
For example, your partner may give in and say things like "whatever you want" when deciding where to go for dinner.
He may say "Okay, I guess I'm just wrong" or "You're right, as always.
" There are myriad ways that humans can give in to one another in order to avoid conflict.
What are the costs of avoiding conflict? If you're married to a passive aggressive man, chances are you already know.
The mindset that avoids conflict and the PA mindset are not very different at all.
The mindset demands that he "go along" with you, pretending to accept your requests and needs.
In this way, he can subconsciously mask his basic inability to feel empathy and be engaged in conflict.
This creates a "make believe role play," where your partner feels that he must mask his own feelings and opinion in order to receive your love.
Along time, this feeling generates a lot of anger and resistance, that has nowhere to go but frustrating you in a thousand hidden ways.
Whether passive aggressive or just afraid of conflict, both stem from a feeling that conflict is dangerous and too hard to deal with.
Being married to a passive aggressive person, a person who avoids conflict at all costs, means that you can spend the best 20 - 30 years of your life trying to decode the double messages your partner sends out when he masks his true feelings under a "yes.
" Perhaps you know this already, and struggle with his lack of commitment to communication - or perhaps you are only just now realizing that your partner's unwillingness to offer opinions stagnates the relationship growth, because he is "just not there.
" Perhaps you're also being accused of being needy, demanding and excessive when you try to figure out what he "really thinks.
" Learning what is really going on your partner's mindset is key to unlocking his passive aggression and finding the real person inside once again.
Recognize that masking his true feelings is a way of "keeping the relationship going" in his eyes.
What can you do to assure him that you'll be with him, through conflict and through peace?
How do you know if your partner is one of these men? You may not be able to track down his internet history, or even what his result was, but there are some clues you can use to tell whether your partner is avoiding conflict by just saying "yes.
" If you're mentally counting how many times your partner had said "yes" in the last week, stop for a moment.
When we say "yes," there are some thing included that you may not think about.
For example, your partner may give in and say things like "whatever you want" when deciding where to go for dinner.
He may say "Okay, I guess I'm just wrong" or "You're right, as always.
" There are myriad ways that humans can give in to one another in order to avoid conflict.
What are the costs of avoiding conflict? If you're married to a passive aggressive man, chances are you already know.
The mindset that avoids conflict and the PA mindset are not very different at all.
The mindset demands that he "go along" with you, pretending to accept your requests and needs.
In this way, he can subconsciously mask his basic inability to feel empathy and be engaged in conflict.
This creates a "make believe role play," where your partner feels that he must mask his own feelings and opinion in order to receive your love.
Along time, this feeling generates a lot of anger and resistance, that has nowhere to go but frustrating you in a thousand hidden ways.
Whether passive aggressive or just afraid of conflict, both stem from a feeling that conflict is dangerous and too hard to deal with.
Being married to a passive aggressive person, a person who avoids conflict at all costs, means that you can spend the best 20 - 30 years of your life trying to decode the double messages your partner sends out when he masks his true feelings under a "yes.
" Perhaps you know this already, and struggle with his lack of commitment to communication - or perhaps you are only just now realizing that your partner's unwillingness to offer opinions stagnates the relationship growth, because he is "just not there.
" Perhaps you're also being accused of being needy, demanding and excessive when you try to figure out what he "really thinks.
" Learning what is really going on your partner's mindset is key to unlocking his passive aggression and finding the real person inside once again.
Recognize that masking his true feelings is a way of "keeping the relationship going" in his eyes.
What can you do to assure him that you'll be with him, through conflict and through peace?
Source...