Why Is Having Children So Hard?
Life isn't easy.
In fact everyone in the world has bumps in their road at some point.
The reality is, life will never be perfect and we all need to mentally prepare ourselves to enjoy life when it is grand, and deal with life when it is bad.
Having children is not black and white.
In fact, the more complicated life becomes in our world, the less black and white areas exist.
I used to be a firm believer of a black and white life style - especially when growing up as a kid.
I used to watch my parents and how they use to discipline, run the house and organise things.
Life seemed pretty easy.
However, being a child I was very naive towards a lot of the hard work and endless efforts my parents put into me and my siblings when we were kids.
Being a parent is hard work and I encourage all people planning to become parents to think about the following: - Time Management - Sacrifices - Being a Role model - Unexpected situations - Finances - What other parents say? Time Management Time management can become a struggle when you have to balance a new child.
when a child is first born (as a newborn baby), they require regular feeding (approx.
every 2 - 3 hours).
As they develop further, they require less feeds but more attention.
As children develop into toddlers and young kids your time will be even more stretched.
Less time to do what you want and more time will be focused on your children.
When I first had children it was hard for me to accept this more than any of the other points below.
Time does change to focus on your children and it is very important to ensure your child feels loved, reassured and never ignored! Sacrifices Sacrifices is one aspect that most people anticipate when having (or are planning for) children.
However, the question is how much sacrifice needs to be imposed? And will your 'significant-other' be in agreement with this? It is very important to communicate between yourselves about what you want and what you can sacrifice.
Communication is the key here.
Your partner should be aware of your needs (and vice versa).
Therefore you can plan and work out your sacrifices as a unit.
Being a Role model This is so important! Your children must look up to you and respect who you are.
Being a stable and an in-control individual builds good security and self-esteem within your child.
However, this can be very hard with all the challengers we are faced with in this world.
For example, you may be stressing over the mortgage one day and accidentally snap at your child because he / she didn't go to bed as you have asked him 5 or 6 times tonight.
Always remember that no-one is perfect and it is important to communicate with your children.
Remember, everyone is entitled to being angry.
It is how you deal with your anger that will be observed by your children.
Unexpected situations No one can predict the future.
No one can say you are going to have a perfect child who will be good at sport; good academically; never get sick; always eats their dinner and always goes to bed when told.
The reality is, every child is different.
And every child will experience their own life.
As a parent we need to be prepared for the unexpected and ensure our children know we will be there for them no matter what arises! Finances Often a relationship killer, finances are even more deadly when children are involved.
There is no better way to say this - plan and budget your money.
Budgeting for a child can be very difficult and sometimes highly inaccurate.
The key is to always take each month as it comes and learn your children.
Learn their needs and interests.
Try to work the line-of-best fit between your child's essential expenses (such as; medication; possible doctor visits; hobbies and interests) the other members of the family.
Always remember that a financial budget will only work if you have been realistic with your plan and you stick to it.
What other parents say? OK.
This section can be heart breaking for money parents.
What other parents may say about their perfect child can often be down-grading to people like myself who have struggled with getting my kids to eat, sleep and behave in general.
The truth of the matter is, we live in a very competitive world.
And sadly, people like to boast about their children - even if what they are saying is not 100% true! Or it may be true but they are failing to publicise other damning facts about their children - damning facts which make us believe that our child isn't normal.
For example, we have a couple who have a son called Robert who is 3.
Robert's parents boast; "Robert is so well mannered; never swears and always eats his dinner.
" However, the truth behind this story may be, Robert is well mannered because he cannot talk yet.
He eats his dinner because he is not allowed to leave the table until it's finished (5 hours later).
And one of Robert's biggest problems lie within bed time.
Robert never wants to go to sleep and will stay up till 2am or sometimes 3am.
Another example, a couple have a daughter named Trish who is 4 years old.
Trish can read books and spell her name.
She is boasted to be one of the smartest children in her class and often gets good praise from the teacher.
But the truth is, Trish cannot read books without her father stepping her through every second word.
Trish's teacher and her father are cousins and Trish can spell her name without the 'H'.
The point I am trying to make is that there is no such thing as a perfect child, perfect life or perfect life plan which gives us both.
The reality is people need to keep their eyes on their children and be happy with what they've got.
Every child is different and every child develops at a different stage.
It is important to be supportive and understanding towards your children.
Raising / having / planning children can create stress and uncertainty.
But if a child is raised to feel loved and reassured; communicated to and not ignored; encouraged to be the best of themselves that they can be - then your child will live a happy and fulfilled life.
In fact everyone in the world has bumps in their road at some point.
The reality is, life will never be perfect and we all need to mentally prepare ourselves to enjoy life when it is grand, and deal with life when it is bad.
Having children is not black and white.
In fact, the more complicated life becomes in our world, the less black and white areas exist.
I used to be a firm believer of a black and white life style - especially when growing up as a kid.
I used to watch my parents and how they use to discipline, run the house and organise things.
Life seemed pretty easy.
However, being a child I was very naive towards a lot of the hard work and endless efforts my parents put into me and my siblings when we were kids.
Being a parent is hard work and I encourage all people planning to become parents to think about the following: - Time Management - Sacrifices - Being a Role model - Unexpected situations - Finances - What other parents say? Time Management Time management can become a struggle when you have to balance a new child.
when a child is first born (as a newborn baby), they require regular feeding (approx.
every 2 - 3 hours).
As they develop further, they require less feeds but more attention.
As children develop into toddlers and young kids your time will be even more stretched.
Less time to do what you want and more time will be focused on your children.
When I first had children it was hard for me to accept this more than any of the other points below.
Time does change to focus on your children and it is very important to ensure your child feels loved, reassured and never ignored! Sacrifices Sacrifices is one aspect that most people anticipate when having (or are planning for) children.
However, the question is how much sacrifice needs to be imposed? And will your 'significant-other' be in agreement with this? It is very important to communicate between yourselves about what you want and what you can sacrifice.
Communication is the key here.
Your partner should be aware of your needs (and vice versa).
Therefore you can plan and work out your sacrifices as a unit.
Being a Role model This is so important! Your children must look up to you and respect who you are.
Being a stable and an in-control individual builds good security and self-esteem within your child.
However, this can be very hard with all the challengers we are faced with in this world.
For example, you may be stressing over the mortgage one day and accidentally snap at your child because he / she didn't go to bed as you have asked him 5 or 6 times tonight.
Always remember that no-one is perfect and it is important to communicate with your children.
Remember, everyone is entitled to being angry.
It is how you deal with your anger that will be observed by your children.
Unexpected situations No one can predict the future.
No one can say you are going to have a perfect child who will be good at sport; good academically; never get sick; always eats their dinner and always goes to bed when told.
The reality is, every child is different.
And every child will experience their own life.
As a parent we need to be prepared for the unexpected and ensure our children know we will be there for them no matter what arises! Finances Often a relationship killer, finances are even more deadly when children are involved.
There is no better way to say this - plan and budget your money.
Budgeting for a child can be very difficult and sometimes highly inaccurate.
The key is to always take each month as it comes and learn your children.
Learn their needs and interests.
Try to work the line-of-best fit between your child's essential expenses (such as; medication; possible doctor visits; hobbies and interests) the other members of the family.
Always remember that a financial budget will only work if you have been realistic with your plan and you stick to it.
What other parents say? OK.
This section can be heart breaking for money parents.
What other parents may say about their perfect child can often be down-grading to people like myself who have struggled with getting my kids to eat, sleep and behave in general.
The truth of the matter is, we live in a very competitive world.
And sadly, people like to boast about their children - even if what they are saying is not 100% true! Or it may be true but they are failing to publicise other damning facts about their children - damning facts which make us believe that our child isn't normal.
For example, we have a couple who have a son called Robert who is 3.
Robert's parents boast; "Robert is so well mannered; never swears and always eats his dinner.
" However, the truth behind this story may be, Robert is well mannered because he cannot talk yet.
He eats his dinner because he is not allowed to leave the table until it's finished (5 hours later).
And one of Robert's biggest problems lie within bed time.
Robert never wants to go to sleep and will stay up till 2am or sometimes 3am.
Another example, a couple have a daughter named Trish who is 4 years old.
Trish can read books and spell her name.
She is boasted to be one of the smartest children in her class and often gets good praise from the teacher.
But the truth is, Trish cannot read books without her father stepping her through every second word.
Trish's teacher and her father are cousins and Trish can spell her name without the 'H'.
The point I am trying to make is that there is no such thing as a perfect child, perfect life or perfect life plan which gives us both.
The reality is people need to keep their eyes on their children and be happy with what they've got.
Every child is different and every child develops at a different stage.
It is important to be supportive and understanding towards your children.
Raising / having / planning children can create stress and uncertainty.
But if a child is raised to feel loved and reassured; communicated to and not ignored; encouraged to be the best of themselves that they can be - then your child will live a happy and fulfilled life.
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