Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman - Book Review
"The key to successful parenting is not found in complex theories; elaborate family rules, or convoluted formulas for behaviour.
It is based on your deepest feelings of love and affection for your child, and is demonstrated simply through empathy and understanding" says Dr.
John Gottman.
And he brings it to the point.
What is the book about? This book will show you the way to the heart of parenting, where when feelings run high and the child is angry, sad or scared the parent is able to be there for them, in a way that engages them to be with their emotions that enriches their life experience.
In the preface he explains, "Before I became a father, I had spent nearly twenty years working in the field of developmental psychology, studying the emotional lives of children.
But it was not until our child arrived in 1990 that I began to truly understand the realities of the parent-child relationship.
" Intense love.
Frustration.
Joy.
Disappointment.
Vulnerability.
" John Gottman explains how parents can become 'Emotion Coaches' to their child.
Based on empathy, the parents learn that by becoming aware of their child's emotion and recognizing them as an opportunity for intimacy and teaching they can become important roles models on how to be with emotions.
As they listen empathically and validate their child's feelings, they can then help them verbally label emotions and support them to solve the problem, while setting limits for inappropriate behaviour.
The beauty of this approach is that parents themselves become even more aware of their feelings, empower their child by giving them options and choices and at the same time respecting their wishes.
This is truly a philosophy where parents learn to share their child's dreams and stay tuned into their needs as they grow up.
About the Author Dr.
John Gottman Dr.
John Gottman, co-founder of The Gottman Institute for marriage research and education, is an expert on what makes marriages succeed or fail and how to make them last.
In his research he has shown that an important element to successful parenting is based on how parents interacted with each other when emotions run high.
He has observed that children benefit the most when parents have a strong relationship.
"It isn't so much about staying married for the sake of the kids.
Couples need to stay happily married, if they can, in order to help their children.
In families where the parents aren't living with each other or are not going to stay married, the parents can best help their children by minimizing their children's exposure to destructive conflict.
High levels of parental conflict create emotional distress on the children and decrease effective parenting skills.
" I can highly recommend this book both for all parents, parents-to-be and carers who want to make a difference in a child's life by coaching and supporting them on their emotions.
It is based on your deepest feelings of love and affection for your child, and is demonstrated simply through empathy and understanding" says Dr.
John Gottman.
And he brings it to the point.
What is the book about? This book will show you the way to the heart of parenting, where when feelings run high and the child is angry, sad or scared the parent is able to be there for them, in a way that engages them to be with their emotions that enriches their life experience.
In the preface he explains, "Before I became a father, I had spent nearly twenty years working in the field of developmental psychology, studying the emotional lives of children.
But it was not until our child arrived in 1990 that I began to truly understand the realities of the parent-child relationship.
" Intense love.
Frustration.
Joy.
Disappointment.
Vulnerability.
" John Gottman explains how parents can become 'Emotion Coaches' to their child.
Based on empathy, the parents learn that by becoming aware of their child's emotion and recognizing them as an opportunity for intimacy and teaching they can become important roles models on how to be with emotions.
As they listen empathically and validate their child's feelings, they can then help them verbally label emotions and support them to solve the problem, while setting limits for inappropriate behaviour.
The beauty of this approach is that parents themselves become even more aware of their feelings, empower their child by giving them options and choices and at the same time respecting their wishes.
This is truly a philosophy where parents learn to share their child's dreams and stay tuned into their needs as they grow up.
About the Author Dr.
John Gottman Dr.
John Gottman, co-founder of The Gottman Institute for marriage research and education, is an expert on what makes marriages succeed or fail and how to make them last.
In his research he has shown that an important element to successful parenting is based on how parents interacted with each other when emotions run high.
He has observed that children benefit the most when parents have a strong relationship.
"It isn't so much about staying married for the sake of the kids.
Couples need to stay happily married, if they can, in order to help their children.
In families where the parents aren't living with each other or are not going to stay married, the parents can best help their children by minimizing their children's exposure to destructive conflict.
High levels of parental conflict create emotional distress on the children and decrease effective parenting skills.
" I can highly recommend this book both for all parents, parents-to-be and carers who want to make a difference in a child's life by coaching and supporting them on their emotions.
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